I thank you kind Sir. I’m hoping to bring your more reports from the Boonies of Virginia, where I attempt to track down Joe Bob before he can affect the rest of the US paintball fraternity with “Irony”.
Doctors have warned that the onset of “Irony”, can lead the victim to display an extremely serious medical condition known as S.S.S. (Salm Sniper Syndrome). Since the world cup fiasco attempts to track down Salm, have to date met little success. Currently believed to be hiding out in a mountain cave in Iraq, US Intelligance assets believe his World Cup Atrocity had received outside assistance and funding. In a video taped message handed to AMTTWWSE TV (Ashshala Malakem That’s The Way We Shake Em TV), Salm was reputed to have gibberished “I shall bring the two Great Satan’s The Mother of All Paintball Games”. It is now understood that the two great Satan’s refers to the PSP and NPPL. In events likely to pour petrol on the situation in the English Channel, the Marker used in the World Cup shootings has been identified. The MATRIX Churchill rail-gun Barrell system, was a improvement on the British Super-gun supplied to the rogue Iraqi state in the 1980’s. Capable of propelling a Paintball at 400 fps+ with amazing accuracy, Salm’s old team mates suggested this was the only way Salm could’ve have hit anything from the extreme distances involved.
Tensions further heightened today when in a US Reconnaissance over-flight two F-16’s were fired upon. The two planes in question were on a photo recon mission to picture WDP in Birmingham, England when they received hostile fire. WDP is currently rumored to be developing a thought controlled Ir-3/Bling Bling, capable of firing in excess of 60 b.p.s, which clearly exceeds international treaties. British sources stated that the shooting was not an act of war, merely the Birmingham Burger Bar Boyz discharging Uzi’s. More news to follow…..
