Inspiring Quotes

[Kevin]

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. - Winston Churchill

 

[jester22]

madam, i may be drunk. but in the morning i will be sober but you will still be ugly - winston churchill

 

[Kevin]

there was a woman who came up to him winston churchill when he was out and about,

woman: sir, if you were my husband I would put poison in your tea
Churchil: madam, if you were my wife I would gladly drink it.

he was a legend.

 

[titoburito]

Lady Astor for both

 

[Sabot]

maybe not so inspiring but good non the less

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there.

Thats my favorite one
Nice find

 

[Bedlam]

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein

When you're younger, you can eat what you like, drink what you like and still slip into your 26" waist trousers and zip them closed. Then you reach that age, 24,25, your muscles give up, they wave a little white flag and without any warning at all, you're suddenly a fat ******* - Rimmer

 

[AL21784]

"If God intended us to fly, he wouldn't have invented Spanish air traffic control".

- Lister

 

[Rat]

" Rules were written for fools and used as guidelines by wisemen" douglas bader,

 

[Dskize]

Just some from the funniest man ever..RIP

I was in Nashville, Tennesee last year. After the show I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, I was hungry. And I'm alone, I'm eating and I'm reading a book, right? Waitress walks over to me: "<smack smack smack smack> Hey, whatchoo readin' for?"

Isn't that the weirdest ****ing question you've ever heard? Not what am I readING, but what am I reading *for*? Well, godammit, ya stumped me! Why do I read? Well... hmmm... I dunno... I guess I read for a lot of reasons, and the main one is so I don't end up being a ****ing waffle waitress.

I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say "Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man. It was a long time ago, just let it go, alright? It's a long time ago, just forget it." I'm like, alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking shelf life here...

If the FBI's motivating factor for busting down the Koresh compound was child abuse, how come we never see Bradley tanks smashing into Catholic churches?

Fundamentalist Christianity - fascinating. These people actually believe that the the world is 12,000 years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them.

"Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years."

Well how ****ing scientific, okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble. That's good. You believe the world's 12,000 years old?

"That's right."

Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?

"Uh-huh."

Dinosaurs.

You know the world is 12,000 years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the ****ing Bible at some point.

"And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big ****ing lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend.

"And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O so many years inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat ****ing families and their fat dollar bills.

"And oh Scotland did praise the Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord. Thank you Lord."

 

[Lovetone]

Hicks, the original owner.