What is 'Love' anyway?

[Buddha 3]

yeah Jay,
Please give us your deepest thoughts on 'Gut-wrenching Love', in detail.

Would you agree with young Pablo that there has to be a small portion of love there in the first place in order to create the 'full thing'?










....this should be good.

Damn, no pressure....

The thing about gut wrenching love is that it wrenches guts. Personally, I prefer my gut unwrenched. My meals however, I prefer gut busting.

One thing some people seem to forget is that there is a difference between being in love and actually loving somebody. Despite all the crap Disney throws at us, being in love is basically a hormonal thing. Just like any other slightly evolved animal, it's just nature telling us that we approve of the other's genetic make up and would like to copulate. Basically, lust plays a huge part.
True love (this sounds so soppy) takes time to develop, despite what some people may tell you, it is never there from the get go, as it takes time for people to integrate into each other's lives enough to develop that state of mind. That kind of love is basically a mix between the sort of love you feel for a close family member and a physical attraction. It takes time for somebody new to be as close and familiar to you as your family is, so that part has to develop.

Falling in love can happen quickly though, even in an instant.

Right, I'm off to do some manly stuff now! Let's see if I can find a puppy to kick, or a bag of kittens to drown.

 

[Robbo]

I personally would disagree. Im 17 and believe i have a fairly decent grasp of the concept of "love" for partners. I think if someone in there teens has had experiences perhaps not personally but through other people and their relationships, they can have a good view on relationships and love.

I personally have friends who are both 17, have been together for 5 years, have a child and are extremely close. At the same time through parents as well as other friends parents i have seen many sides of love. I'm not trying to say i know everything about love, but i personally think that if you actually take a back seat and "people watch" so to speak as i have done on various peoples relationships i.e my friends, their parents and my own family, you can obtain a good idea of how it works and in some cases, doesn't as well as the problems,concepts and truth behind this thing we call love (not trying to sound like a creep who sits in the cupboard listening to couples talking ).

I gave my views in a couple of posts earlier in the thread which i was given credit for by Buddha, but i do respect yours and everyone else's opinions on the subject, just wondered what you thought to this Robbo.

CK

Of course you disagree; t'is the arrogance of youth that answers me though and not the rationale accumulated from experience.

 

[Missy-Q]

Damn, no pressure....

The thing about gut wrenching love is that it wrenches guts. Personally, I prefer my gut unwrenched. My meals however, I prefer gut busting.

One thing some people seem to forget is that there is a difference between being in love and actually loving somebody. Despite all the crap Disney throws at us, being in love is basically a hormonal thing. Just like any other slightly evolved animal, it's just nature telling us that we approve of the other's genetic make up and would like to copulate. Basically, lust plays a huge part.
True love (this sounds so soppy) takes time to develop, despite what some people may tell you, it is never there from the get go, as it takes time for people to integrate into each other's lives enough to develop that state of mind.

Jay, it sound like you're saying that you DON'T 'just know' when it's 'the ONE'

Are you saying that Jonathan A's 'love' is unreal, in that it's a physical impossibility, and that what he is feeling is plain old 'lust'? ....because that's what it sounds like you're saying...

You commended young Pablo earlier (he is extremely grateful by the way) on his 'love philosophy'. Now that you know that he got his experience 2nd hand, sometimes unobserved, but mainly from his oldest friend (also 17yrs old, but qualifies as an expert of sorts because he has a kid), does this additional information make you feel more or less inclined to congratulate him further on his perception of 'love'?

 

[Bon]

Unfortunately this is a paradox of sorts. The best way to get confidence as a young lad, is to shag plenty of chicks. Ideally you will do this without 'falling in love', as when you 'fall in love' you no longer want to do all the shagging, and therefore don't get the confidence this brings. Whatever confidence you have accumulated will be utterly destroyed when the chick you fell for dumps you for a guy in an Xr2 Fiesta.

So, how to do all the shagging without falling into the 'love-trap'

This is tricky. For starters,

1. Never tell a girl you love her just 'to get into her pants'. Its not necessary when for the price of a bottle of wine you can avoid the topic altogether, and still get laid.
2. Don't go for the popular girls. They always expect you to love them. Those Bitches will get theirs later-on in life when they are the first to gain weight and look older than their years. At that point they are desperate for a shag and you can 'safely' slip them one without any fear of falling in love.
3. Avoid the religious girls. They have high expectations of love/commitment, and are notoriously difficult to crack without serious ground-work (often including use of the L-word). They also guilt you like crazy with their crying. So obnoxious!
4. Hang around drunk chicks. Drunk chicks put out and in the morning they will be even more embarrassed than you are. Ideal situation.
5. Hold parties and only invite chicks you are not attracted to. They will become more attractive as the night goes on (trust me). This way, after it goes down, and you've sobered up, you don't have any crazy idea's about 'going steady' with any of them, and any crazy idea's you had last night will just seem ridiculous in the cold light of day.
5. Try the ones that look 'off-beat'. They're trying to piss daddy off and you might fit the bill. Black nail-varnish is a dead givaway, as are tattoos/piercings. If they cut themselves you're in for sure.
6. Never call them 'afterwards', and if they call you, don't answer. It's often the easiest way out and it will enhance your reputation as a man who isn't looking for love.
7. Get a summer job at an 18/30 type resort. You're sure to get laid, and good luck falling for one of those slappers! Hah!
8. Try to pick girls you would NEVER introduce your Mom to (think, "OMG my mom would HATE this chick"). This prevents the relationship from getting too serious.

The beauty of my plan is that you are not aiming at girls who you may wish to fall in love with later in life, leaving this whole section to germinate and mature relatively unmolested.

Avoid Love until you're at least 30. That way you will likely only have your heart broken once. Remember that there will always be one that will do this to you, same as there will be one psycho that tries to kill you after you break theirs...

I can see i now, bestselling book

Missy-Q's guide to life

 

[Missy-Q]

I can see i now, bestselling book

Missy-Q's guide to life

Not much point publishing it now. According to Dustin Rainman you've already released life's answer. 43 if my memory serves.

How could I compete?

 

[Bon]

Not much point publishing it now. According to Dustin Rainman you've already released life's answer. 43 if my memory serves.

How could I compete?

Yours would have useful application

 

[campbell08]

This is tricky. For starters,

1. Never tell a girl you love her just 'to get into her pants'. Its not necessary when for the price of a bottle of wine you can avoid the topic altogether, and still get laid.
2. Don't go for the popular girls. They always expect you to love them. Those Bitches will get theirs later-on in life when they are the first to gain weight and look older than their years. At that point they are desperate for a shag and you can 'safely' slip them one without any fear of falling in love.
3. Avoid the religious girls. They have high expectations of love/commitment, and are notoriously difficult to crack without serious ground-work (often including use of the L-word). They also guilt you like crazy with their crying. So obnoxious!
4. Hang around drunk chicks. Drunk chicks put out and in the morning they will be even more embarrassed than you are. Ideal situation.
5. Hold parties and only invite chicks you are not attracted to. They will become more attractive as the night goes on (trust me). This way, after it goes down, and you've sobered up, you don't have any crazy idea's about 'going steady' with any of them, and any crazy idea's you had last night will just seem ridiculous in the cold light of day.
5. Try the ones that look 'off-beat'. They're trying to piss daddy off and you might fit the bill. Black nail-varnish is a dead givaway, as are tattoos/piercings. If they cut themselves you're in for sure.
6. Never call them 'afterwards', and if they call you, don't answer. It's often the easiest way out and it will enhance your reputation as a man who isn't looking for love.
7. Get a summer job at an 18/30 type resort. You're sure to get laid, and good luck falling for one of those slappers! Hah!
8. Try to pick girls you would NEVER introduce your Mom to (think, "OMG my mom would HATE this chick"). This prevents the relationship from getting too serious.

The beauty of my plan is that you are not aiming at girls who you may wish to fall in love with later in life, leaving this whole section to germinate and mature relatively unmolested.

Avoid Love until you're at least 30. That way you will likely only have your heart broken once. Remember that there will always be one that will do this to you, same as there will be one psycho that tries to kill you after you break theirs...

Pretty much the only way to do it, unless you want to take the chance to 'love' them and normally getting your heart stamped on.

 

[Buddha 3]

Jay, it sound like you're saying that you DON'T 'just know' when it's 'the ONE'

Are you saying that Jonathan A's 'love' is unreal, in that it's a physical impossibility, and that what he is feeling is plain old 'lust'? ....because that's what it sounds like you're saying...

You commended young Pablo earlier (he is extremely grateful by the way) on his 'love philosophy'. Now that you know that he got his experience 2nd hand, sometimes unobserved, but mainly from his oldest friend (also 17yrs old, but qualifies as an expert of sorts because he has a kid), does this additional information make you feel more or less inclined to congratulate him further on his perception of 'love'?

I am most definitely saying you don't "just know". A lot of people think they do though, but it's all just a load of Disney crap.

I commended Pablo because he has a good grasp of what it seems to be about for a guy his age, certainly a lot more than most kids his age. I'm not saying he knows all though.

 

[Missy-Q]

I am most definitely saying you don't "just know". A lot of people think they do though, but it's all just a load of Disney crap. .

Just as I thought.
Jonathan A - you're kidding yourself! You're wrapped up in some Arabian Nights fantasy adventure plot. Luckily, you have friends online that are willing to point this out for you.

I commended Pablo because he has a good grasp of what it seems to be about for a guy his age, certainly a lot more than most kids his age. I'm not saying he knows all though.

So, more inclined?


or less inclined?

 

[Tony Harrison]

Jon, I've seen it mate ..... it's just that my memory isn't what it used to be...however, if you wanna hear some quotes from Tombstone ......oh my, so many gems, I'm overcome.

Yeah, Tombstone is pretty good.

Have you seen "Inglorious Basterds" yet? Now, THAT is a very quotable film.

If you haven't seen it, I'll hook you up with a copy.