"Oh no I've dropped all my bullets"

[Meyer]

The most irritating thing newbs do is follow the guy with the shinniest gun. They assume that the most expensive marker belongs to the best paintballer, so they latch on to that guy and stick to him like carrion on a texas highway. More often than not, people are impressed by my electronic marker, and simply follow me around the field, I've taken some time to properly camouflage myself to the ambient atmosphere, and work very hard at learning to move unseen, and all that work is ruined by a telltale line of newbs following me like baby ducklings.

 

[Collier]

I never did the rental thing, my first day paintballing I used all my own kit! Good job I enjoyed it!

Paul.

 

[norwegiancocker]

I never did the rental thing, my first day paintballing I used all my own kit! Good job I enjoyed it!

Same here, and i loved it. Putting ALL those 'bullets' into the mighty '45-round clip' of my Stingray II. -By far the coolest marker we had found cause it looked sortof like an MP-5 and made the loudest BANGs. Then i shot myself in the foot a couple of times, and went home to paint my JT's camo.
Sigh, o those were the days

 

[Tyger]

Ahh, you should come here.

Guy shows up to play. Face covered in green and black paint. He's wearing a ghillie suit. Well, kinda, it's a weat shirt with hole in it, where he cut it open to tie on random strands of material he found in his wife's sewing room. He's also wearing this hat... it looked like he raided the plastic plant shop and abused a hot glue gun.

When he handed me his waiver form, I looked at him, and said "Umm, you do know we give you a face mask, right?" And he kinda looked at me confused...

Another fun one, I'm playing and a renter says to me "Hey, my gun won't work!" It's kinda a dead spot in the game, so I decide to help him out. Safety off, gun cocked, it's cycling. Then I look at the barrel. He had managed to stuff the muzzle of the gun into the ground, and had I'm guessing 3-5 inches of packed mud and debris down the barrel. This is beyond the 30 or so balls he broke against this mess. They had to give him another gun to use, they couldn't fix THAT blockage at the field.

Oh, what else? There's a lot of fun stuff like that too. Including my friend, who was CONVINCED he was pinnned down. By a splatmaster wielding newbie. While I was STANDING behind him. 2 FEET behind him. **sigh**

-Tyger

 

[Zane]

I had a group of blind people come out to play and they all refused to wear thier mask. Then one guy asked me if he had to wear his underwear. I was like "What the piss does being blind have to do with wearing your underwear?"

 

[Tortoise-Licker]

Originally posted by Zane
I had a group of blind people come out to play and they all refused to wear thier mask. Then one guy asked me if he had to wear his underwear. I was like "What the piss does being blind have to do with wearing your underwear?"

Lol now that I would pay to see (no pun intended)
I bet the safety talk was interesting to say the least, how the hell do you say if you get hit in the eye you could be blinded, to people who are blind already.
I bet the gameplay was fun as well with punters running into trees, and falling down ditches. Did they have guide dogs and they had to wear masks as well?
Hang on how the hell were they planning on seeing the opponants? Come to think of it Blind people playing p8ntball thats just silly.
Doh....... I think I've taken the bait on this one

'Tortoise-Licker is looking for a gulliable idiots annonomous group'

 

[Cenobite]

Ahh its not always lines often its actions.

At the start of every game, and in our safety speach we always used to tell players not to pick paint up off the floor. The only excuse is if you just dropped them, that moment and saw where they landed, and had time to give them a good clean. We also explain that they swell with moisture and that old balls will jam their guns and are so bouncey they prob wouldnt burst anyway. We would even show them a swollen one to prove this.

Without fail at some point during each game we would have players coming up with jammed guns looking all baffled. The conversation was nearly always the same.

"Its knackered Marshall!"
"Did you pick balls up off the floor"
"No marshall"
"Ahh I wonder how this huge swollen paintball got in there then?"
one time someone said:
"Ohh dunno, must of been sabotage by the other team!"

Even had one guy once trying to fire stones through his gun, hopefully accidentily when he picked up a handful of old swollen balls, luckily it had jammed inside the barrel (completely ruining it).

I have also saw many many people turn up with face camo, only to be handed a full face mask, at which they would kinda look embarrassed and wander off.

 

[Cenobite]

Oh and there was a time, when I was marshalling a game at WDP. This suddenly there was a shout from a female player, I ran over as she shouted

"Marshall, I need you to stick your long thing in!" or words to that effect, meaning I assume my squeegie. To which the Game manager/head marshall shouted "Dont have time for that only 1 minute remaining!" .

Needless to say there were more than a few fnarrs from the marshalls after that game.