"Oh no I've dropped all my bullets"

[KillerOnion]

OK, some lines I hate, and there are multitudes. Apparently they coat rental guns and low end guns in some kind of oil or silicone that seeps into the bearers' brains to make them into morons.

"Where's the fort?"
"Can we go to the woods again?" NO!!!!!!!
"My <rental or otherwise piece of crap> won't shoot. Can you fix it?"
"When do I throw (or what if they throw) a paint grenade?"
"What! It's on my gun/mask/tank...I'm not out, am I?"
"I left all my paint ______ "
"They said this works on whateverpaintball.com..."
"All the pros use this..."
"Are you a pro?"
"I don't want to play against him, he's got that pro gun!"

And countless other gibberish that deserves a kick in the balls with steel spike toed boots...

 

[guppy]

What really p****s me off is..

1. 'Does it hurt'?
2. 'Why do you carry a whip' (squeegie guys..i'm not kinky..well not on the field)
To which my favourite reply is 'for hitting newbies who shoot me on purpose' (and i DO!)
3. Reffing schoolkids, who will insist on calling me 'Miss, Miss'
4. Punters who only put 50 paintballs in their hopper each game so that the 500 included in site fee lasts them all day...BORING!
5. Do you have machine guns?
6. Reffing people who don't speaka-da-english...recently had to learn to call 'game over' in Tamil as 40 guys had one interpreter between them!
Could go on but thats enough!

 

[Philip]

Miss, miss....wheres the whip....dont hit me

 

[guppy]

Philip....

You just can't resist it, can you? OK OK I'll play along...Bad Philip, Miss is getting very cross and you know what happens to naughty boys...!
Now back to p8ntball! (Please!) Another one is after having grabbed the centre flag they shout 'Marshall, where do i have to take it'? To which my response is: 'Ten seconds...9...8...)'

 

[Mark]

Hmmmm.......

Originally posted by Nick Iuel-Brockdorff
...I wonder how many of you people remember your first outing - and how many of you asked many of the same questions back then ?

Todays punter - tomorrows top Pro player - if we treat them nice and helpful.

Nick

Well said Nick...I was guilty of a newbie comment on my second time of playing ......(not been mentioned so far...and thats as far as I will admit )

Oh BTW not a top pro player but at least I sorta know what I'm doing

 

[GoatBoy]

My personal favourite is the 5 minute over-detailed wayyyy-too-serious team talk prior to the game. Teams split into fire teams, each fire team member has an oppo. The field is devided into grids and a detailed and complex plan of attack unfolds with much furious head nodding and grunts of "Hell Yeah!!!"

The punters all adopt the obligatory "pre game on" stance and then burst outta the base camp with all the speed and cordinated grace of a ruotured slug....

20 seconds later, the opposite team who "..have just come for a laugh" are jogging back the flag shrugging their shoulders and wondering why the opposite team, screamed and hollered at each other while running into their paint?

Punters... don't cha just love em!!

 

[Quayler]

Originally posted by Darkwerks
In every woods game ever......" He's behind that tree!!!"

To which the reply always comes "which tree" and in unison all the marshalls usually reply "the brown one with the leaves on!!"

 

[Pinky_81]

I remember...

I remember my first Nick... Damn I played worse and worse since!!

People tend to forget almost about everything you told them 2 minutes ago, but hey - Tell them what they need to know... And do it front of everybody!! If they are bad, then tell them so they won't ever forget the rules!!

Pinky

 

[Rich S]

here is a good one

'game on'
'marshal, my gun is broke'
i look in the hopper - it was empty, the numpty didn't fill up his hopper between games.

 

[guppy]

True, but:

Originally posted by Nick Iuel-Brockdorff
...I wonder how many of you people remember your first outing - and how many of you asked many of the same questions back then ? Nick

Yes we were all newbies once but i bet the majority of us here actually listened to the safety brief & didn't lift goggles,we put paint in our hoppers, listened as the games were explained and knew where to run the flag, and as for 'oh i'm sorry, i didn't know you were the marshall'...B***s***! They know!