Originally posted by Stan
Spoken like a true gent
its nice to see chivalry hasn't died...
To the O.P..
the answer to your problems is easy..
1:- Next time your down the local gym.. when someone is in the shower, steal his smelly sweaty boxer shorts..
WARNING :- DO NOT GET CAUGHT DOING THIS!!! AS BEING CAUGHT RED HANDED STEALING MENS SWEATY UNDIES CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR SELF ESTEEM AND DESTROY YOUR PRIDE AND DIGNITY!!! AND IS SCIENTIFICLY LINKED TO SELF LOATHING!!
2:- Arrange a night where you have to be away from home
for some reason, EG:- your m8s budgie died from syphalis.
and hes inconsolable and near suicide!!!
NOTE:- in retrospect.. the "tragic budgie death" may seem a little
stupid, and unbelievable... say... his cat died from space measels!
3:- Come home.. tell missus how much you missed her and hated spending a night apart.. and get all set for a romantic night in...
Plant the now festering stolen undies, skidmarks and all, in her favorite vibrator hiding spot.. (and no.. thats not "in her")
ADVICE :- Offer to get out the gimp suit and strawberry jam..
this should really get her wet!!!
4:- in the middle of your "romantic gimp episode" find said undies.. let your bottom lip quivver for about 10 seconds and weep like a four year old girl!!!!
5:- Leave her as you cannot believe how she could two time you in your own home when your gone for just one night..
6:- Go to Florida.. go to the NPPL.. have your way with some Fit american bird in a "spite of revenge" against the now ex-missus..
Have several if it makes you feel better..
(there are certain pharmacutical aids that help if your ugly!!)
7:- Go back home.. a satisfied man!! tell her that you missed her even though shes cheaper than Asdas.. and tell her you forgive her.. and want her back!!!
8:- Live happily ever after...
The End...
Problem solved!!