It's Friday night........
- Thread starter Cook$
- Start date
What do you call a chav on fire? Blazzzzzzziiiiiinnnnnnnn
What do you call a 30 year old chavette? Granny
How could you miss those telow??
What do you call a 30 year old chavette? Granny
How could you miss those telow??
Well luckily i read these in a card today:
Your driving along and you see a chav on a bike, why don't you run him over?
It could be your bike
A nova with 3 chavs inside drives off a cliff, why is that a shame?
Nova's seat 4
2 chavs sitting in a car with no music, who is driving?
The police
What do you say to a chav in a SUIT?
Will the defendant please stand
Your driving along and you see a chav on a bike, why don't you run him over?
It could be your bike
A nova with 3 chavs inside drives off a cliff, why is that a shame?
Nova's seat 4
2 chavs sitting in a car with no music, who is driving?
The police
What do you say to a chav in a SUIT?
Will the defendant please stand
Some are coming back to me now though.
What do chavs use as protection during sexual intercorse..... a bus shelter.
What do you say to a chav at work........ just a big mac and fries please.
What do chavs have in common with slinkies....... no real use, just funny to watch them fall down stairs.
What is the most confusing day of the year for chavs....... fathers day.
What do you call a chav with 2 brain cells ...... pregnant.
What do chavs use as protection during sexual intercorse..... a bus shelter.
What do you say to a chav at work........ just a big mac and fries please.
What do chavs have in common with slinkies....... no real use, just funny to watch them fall down stairs.
What is the most confusing day of the year for chavs....... fathers day.
What do you call a chav with 2 brain cells ...... pregnant.
In infomercials, with real life Chavs...know why?
Coz you can guarantee what they will say will lead to the next bit of information:
Advert: "Hello there young Trendie. Do you know about Birth Control?"
Chav: "Nah...fckin init, fing"
Advert: "Birth Control, helps to stop you and your fellow Chavettes, producing further wastes of space, who are a drain on the community"
Chav: "Ahh...yea, ah nose dat..fing innit anat...jonnies anat"
Advert: "Thats right, Condoms are one form of Birth Control. Do you know the best form of Birth Control?"
Chav: "Nah...I ain't good wiv skool anat, fing...care"
Advert: "Clearly. The best method of Birth Control, is abstinence. Just say no."
Chaz: "Wot? not like, av shags n fing anat"
Advert: "Thats right, preferably ever, until your sad little existence, leads to your own timely demise, for the benefit of the community. Do you not think, that your Giro and the funds expended on you by the Police, could be put to better use..perhaps by being burnt, to provide heating for the old and infirm?"
Bothered to write any more, could go on forever...
A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
Couple of mates of mine at uni had a game.One thing that gets on my tits is the timing that Jehova's Witnesses have when they come a knocking, its ALWAYS when your about to do something or go out or whatever.
Never when your bored out of your skull or when you have free time but always when you need something done
Though I gotta admit i did have some fun answering the door once in my Cradle Of Filth shirt with the 'busy' nun on the front, the look on their faces was priceless....
They both lived along the same (long) road in Plymouth and when the jehova's witnesses (jws) came along, whoever was hit first rang the other to warn him.
The game was to try and get jws to leave QUICKLY, whoever got the fastest time was the winner.
This was played over most of the second and third year until the spring term of the third year when one of them took it a bit to far.
Apparently it was a whole family of JWS (Mum, Dad & two kiddies) that the door was opened too, and confronted to this
He was naked apart from a Black leather thong, had a pentagram on his chest in charcoal, holding a diving knife covered in the same (fake) blood he had all over himself. And the taped screaming of his girlfriend playing in the background.
Yes....the JWS ran away
Yes....the police were called
Yes....his door was knocked down
Yes....he spent a few hours explaining himself to the coppers (Who saw the funny side but not officially.)
It was decided that he won
DP