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How Funny are Paintballers?

weedave

#0
Jan 16, 2002
1,657
3
63
Belfast
You so ugly when you were Born the Doctor slapped yo momma :D

Yo momma so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag :)

Yo momma so poor, burglars broke in and left money!

Yo Momma so poor, she only has two channels on her TV, On and Off! :D

Yo Momma so fat, her beeper went off and everybody thought she was backin up!

More to Come lol
 

ChiZZerS

Well-Known Member
ok this is realy lame...
where dose sadam keep his cd's.....





in iraq...a rack... get it... lol
--------------------------------------------
ok hear is a powem i made up

iraq iraq!....every one there's a spack
sadam hussein he is inasin
and the women are down the drain
there coverd in rags
their heads are in bags
so you dont know if their hot or not..
iraq iraq!....every one there's a spack!!
 

D6

Well-Known Member
Jun 21, 2002
1,213
2
63
Nakatomi Plaza
Ok- stolen from the FHM website, but so good, it's gotta be shared:

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder. "You sign! You sign!" Nelson says to him, "Look mate, you've obviously got the wrong bloke. Push off", and shuts the door in his face. The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"
Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he shoves the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, push off! You've got the wrong bloke! I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again. The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again.
On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusts a clipboard under his nose, shouting "You sign! You sign!" Behind ham are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.
This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him; "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?" The little Chinese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says: "You not Nissan Maindealer?"
 

Fi$h

FunKy-a$$ FleA Ba$$isT
Mar 20, 2003
213
4
28
So$co/Manc/Marseille
Visit site
There are two men sitting at a top floor bar in a sky-scraper. The Taller, Bigger man turns to the other and asks if he would accept a wager. He says "I'll bet you I can jump out that window, fly around this bar, back in the window and finish my pint". The other man, slightly drunk, takes on the bet, captivated by the man's motivation. Sure enough, the Man jumps out the window, flies twice around the building and gracefully re-enters the bar's window and sits back down to his pint. "Thats easy, I could do that, I bet YOU I can fly around the bar". The rather drunken man approaches the window, jumps out.....and plunges screaming to his death.

The barman approaches to take the finished Pint glass and says "You can be such a dick sometimes Superman"
 

Cassidy James

Kamakazi Runner
Dec 15, 2002
71
0
0
Redding, CA
www.newgrounds.com
Jo mama's so hairy, when you were born you got rugburn!
Jo mama's glasses r so think, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving!
Jo mama's so fat, every time she turns around, people throw her a going away party!



My dick is so big, it had it's own revolution, and is now called the ruplic of my dick!
My dick is so big, California had to spend 9 billion dollars to carve tunne;ls all over it so cars can get by!
 

Pinchaaay

New Member
Jan 29, 2003
704
0
0
Yo' momas crease
www.alfa145.com
Man goes to the circus, at the end of the show the ringmaster brings out an elephant. "if anybody can make this elephant sit down i will give you £2000 cash.

So the man walks up to the elephant and stares into it's eyes, walks round the back and kicks it in the b###cks. Surely enough the elephant sits down.....£2000 goes to the man.

Two months later the man goes back to the same circus, surely enough the same elephant and the same bet! But the ringmaster recognises the man and changes the bet slightly.
"if you can make the elephant nod his head...shake his head...and then sit down i will then give you £3000.

So the man accepts and walks up to the elephant and stares into it's eyes and says.......

"do you remember me"...elephant nods his head
"do you want a kick in the b###cks.... elephant shakes his head
"well i suggest you f##@ng sit down then"

:D

Chris


Team crapjokes u.k