I realise that this is a technical support email address, but I could not
find somewhere to direct Complaints to. Please forward this to the relevant
people.
I must relate to you a tragic tale of a young man, a young man named Ross.
The poor youth is a Canadian (though this is not his fault), but this is not
the source of the problem: no indeed, it is your game - that corrupting,
brain-washing, insomnia-inducing piece of software that is 'World of
Warcraft'.
Let me explain.
Before that tragic day of November 23rd, 2004 before your instrument of
destruction was released upon the world (though who knows how far poor
Ross's addiction was rooted - it is rumoured he was involved in beta tests),
Ross was a charming individual. A regular attendant at LAN parties, he would
dutifully transport himself (and many other fellow friends and gamers) to my
place of residence, where we would while away the hours playing
Counter-Strike, and other such games. Good times were always had by all, and
much alcohol was also consumed.
Even when we went to our different Universities to continue our education,
the gaming didn't stop. Our CS playing would continue through the nights
(much to the annoyance of our tutors and housemates). But then one day, one
bitter day, Ross's 'xfire' status showed not the usual "Playing Counter
Strike"; no, not even "(afk)". It said:
"Playing World of Warcraft".
The hours began to mount. 10 hours a week. 20 hours. 30. 60. 120.
Nowadays he plays (or 'Pillages' as he calls it) for over 150 hours a week.
So far he has totalled around almost 1700 hours. This amounts to over 70
days of his life. 70 days in which he has not attended LAN parties on the
grounds that his "clan needs him". Before this, the only thing that would
stand between any one of us and a LAN was a death in the family. Or a
hardware problem.
It is this that has finally forced me to write this email. This has become
not only unacceptable, but has us all fearing for poor Ross's life. Do you
realise what your game is doing to the poor man? His life, his sex-life, is
being put in jeopardy. Do you want that on your conscience?
I thought not.
It is obvious to me that our poor friend Ross is addicted. He has given up
his former love of drawing - he now draws only World of Warcraft fan art. He displays all symptoms of addiction: he has an uncontrollable craving, he
plays the game despite the fact it is obviously causing him harm, and I have
no doubt that if he were to try and stop, it would cause him physical pain.
I think it would be unfair to put the blame on Ross. Indeed, 'World of
Warcraft' has been likened by a student of Law at De Montfort University,
Leicester, UK to a cigarette addiction: "seduced by the product, he [Ross]
now pays his money and cannot stop".[1]
My request is that you either:
a) stop Ross's account, ban him from all servers and allow him to
continue his life
b) send a Ross replacement, so that we may continue our LAN parties
with full numbers. Please make sure this replacement is a competent CS
player, and has no interest in RPG's. Unless they are Rocket Propelled
Grenades.
I sincerely hope you can honour either (or both) of my requests. A young
man's life depends on it.
Regards
Mr F D Curtis
_____
[1] Heaven, De Montfort Demon News, 2005 13-17
