Would of...could of

[Ian Mac]

I get emails requesting sponsorship written in text crap all the time.....
If you are going to ask for sponsorship, spell check and grammar check are your friends. Capital letters and punctuation are also good. Failing that get your mates to check it over first. Telling me about your brilliant "commincation" skills is not going to impress.

 

[Tonymicjoe]

I think this is a very valid point. Half the time you end up translating written English statements into English to make sense of them. I work in recruitment, and you should see some of the CV's that are floating about out there. A little bit of effort goes a long way...

I have actually started a Word document on my desktop named "W*nkers", where I have cut and pasted some of the best quotes from people's CV's. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so lame and depressing.

 

[Buddha 3]

Dude, you HAVE to post that up!

 

[Tonymicjoe]

Okay, some choice examples:

(Remember, these are verbatim)

"While in the Royal Air Force, I was, for 6 and a half years, in Berlin, Working on (name deleted) systems. Unfortunately details of that cannot be given here, but suffice to say, I had a goooood time ;-)"

The smiley face was there and everything...

"I am a brain worker with strong mathematical mind, capable of fast analytical thinking and of incredible fast learning as well."

Yeah, you go mate.

"For over a month and half I worked in the (name deleted) shopping centre as an early morning cleaner, My responsible were mostly cleaning the windows in the shopping centre car park"

Nice one. Especially as you are applying for a technical job. A whole month and a half, huh?

"I am extermly Meticulus"

So extremely meticulous that you dont check your spelling?

"Ambition : To Do What My God Wants From Me.
Slogan :Experience Is The Key To Success.
Subject : As A Part of IT Revolution."

Jesus. We are offering a job, not a part in a global takeover attempt.

I weep for the future...

 

[Edd Hobday]

I pitty the human race

-EDD

 

[Baca Loco]

Originally posted by Edd Hobday
I pitty the human race

-EDD

Edd's comment was brought to you by his newest sponsor, House the Redundancy (offices in London, Paris and Milan) which brings you the finest recycled products re-packaged for that like-new appearance. Bringing you only the best over again, House of Redundancy.


*House of Redundancy is not responsible for errors or infringements; see "pitty"

 

[Edd Hobday]

Originally posted by Baca Loco
Edd's comment was brought to you by his newest sponsor, House the Redundancy (offices in London, Paris and Milan) which brings you the finest recycled products re-packaged for that like-new appearance. Bringing you only the best over again, House of Redundancy.


*House of Redundancy is not responsible for errors or infringements; see "pitty"

House the Redundancy ....read student

 

[duffistuta]

Originally posted by Tonymicjoe
I think this is a very valid point. Half the time you end up translating written English statements into English to make sense of them. I work in recruitment, and you should see some of the CV's that are floating about out there. A little bit of effort goes a long way...

I have actually started a Word document on my desktop named "W*nkers", where I have cut and pasted some of the best quotes from people's CV's. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so lame and depressing.

I get some great ones...

Dear Mr Duffy,

Please alow me explain why an career in jornalism is for me and I am THE man for your company...

That's genuine.










Still, it got Beaker the job...

 

[Intheno]

Totally with Saris on this,

Its really worrying that people are not only losing thier grammatical skills, but also thier vocabularies.

The words 'Cool' and 'Cute' are now used in California instead of the choice of 100+ descriptive words that would previously been used. 'Wicked' is probably the best UK example. What is the World coming to. My Mom is now a school inspector and claims that the teachers she grades now have a lower vocabulary and 'more worser' grammar than the kids she used to teach in classes 15-20 years ago. With such a rapid degeneration of English it makes you wonder what our grandchildren will be saying to us in years to come.
Its bad enough that Colour and Valour and Honour have all had the 'u's removed in US dictionaries and from Microsoft spell-check, but the word 'er' has now been added to the English dictionary, and that is just what people say when they can't actually think of a word....

Sorry to say this, but corporal punishment may be the only answer, although this would only work in the UK, as if you slapped a kid in the US you would either get sued or shot.
I got caned plenty of times in School, and it didn't do me any harm...

Ok scratch that last bit...


I'm going to dig out some sponsorship request letters, I have some classics!!

 

[duffistuta]

Originally posted by Intheno


I got caned plenty of times in School, and it didn't do me any harm...

They let you skin up in school? Must have been one of those fancy progressive hippy schools...you're a middle class nonce aren't you ITN?