When....
- Thread starter Cook$
- Start date
eating paint. it a bit expensive for the hard stuff but when you get addicted it's hard to stop!rofl, where do you lot come up with this stuff?
It's not the paint but the aerosol propellant that does the damage!eating paint. it a bit expensive for the hard stuff but when you get addicted it's hard to stop!
you heard the joke with the farting husband?
i'll say it anyway, this old couple were married for nearly 50 years, so of course, they were used to each other, so they acted normally. no secrets here!
anyway the husband had a habit of farting all the time, and they weren't silent ones, oh no, these were the big soggy ones that sound like they're accompanied by a sh!te. as you'd imagine the wife didn't like the farts, who would? so she was always saying "one day you going to fart your guts out!!!" and every time, the husband responded the same, "that's an old wives tale, it'll never happen"
one evening the wife was making the dinner, he had a big chicken on the counter and she was gutting it when the husband walked in and went up to her and gave her a hug, after chatting for a while he went back to the living room, but not before farting! the wife decided she had had it! she wasn't going to put up with it anymore!!
that night after the husband had gone to sleep she sneaked downstairs and got the chicken guts, she then put them into his underwear. (see where this is going?) the next morning the husband woke up and of course he farted. but then there was a look of dawning on his face, a sort of puzzled look, so very cautiously, but even more curiously he reached down and felt in his pants....... in a flash the husband was out of bed, in the toilet with the door locked behind him and screaming all the way. the wife was just lying there in be with a mischievous smile on her face.
20 minutes of blood curdling, gut wrenching screams later the husband walked out of the toilet with a sigh of relief, by ow the wife had been beginning to wonder what the h3ll he was doing in there. the husband says to her, "honey, you were right, i shouldn't have been farting all the time. just like you said i would i farted out my guts, but.... with these two fingers and this tub of Vaseline i got it all back in again!!!"
i'll say it anyway, this old couple were married for nearly 50 years, so of course, they were used to each other, so they acted normally. no secrets here!
anyway the husband had a habit of farting all the time, and they weren't silent ones, oh no, these were the big soggy ones that sound like they're accompanied by a sh!te. as you'd imagine the wife didn't like the farts, who would? so she was always saying "one day you going to fart your guts out!!!" and every time, the husband responded the same, "that's an old wives tale, it'll never happen"
one evening the wife was making the dinner, he had a big chicken on the counter and she was gutting it when the husband walked in and went up to her and gave her a hug, after chatting for a while he went back to the living room, but not before farting! the wife decided she had had it! she wasn't going to put up with it anymore!!
that night after the husband had gone to sleep she sneaked downstairs and got the chicken guts, she then put them into his underwear. (see where this is going?) the next morning the husband woke up and of course he farted. but then there was a look of dawning on his face, a sort of puzzled look, so very cautiously, but even more curiously he reached down and felt in his pants....... in a flash the husband was out of bed, in the toilet with the door locked behind him and screaming all the way. the wife was just lying there in be with a mischievous smile on her face.
20 minutes of blood curdling, gut wrenching screams later the husband walked out of the toilet with a sigh of relief, by ow the wife had been beginning to wonder what the h3ll he was doing in there. the husband says to her, "honey, you were right, i shouldn't have been farting all the time. just like you said i would i farted out my guts, but.... with these two fingers and this tub of Vaseline i got it all back in again!!!"
