I don't follow....
Are you suggesting that Mrs Skeet and I, get violent with each other at times?
Or is this a reference to the abundance of..."things to hand"?
Or something else? Please expand...
Oh and yeah, a selection of non ornamental, totally functional Katanas on the wall, white oak boken on stand on window sill behind bed, very large maglight-but-better type torch...a few months of Iaido lessons. Ask them nicely to leave, as I am scared and do not want to have to defend myself or create the need to redecorate.
OP. As has been suggested, your marker would have to be assembled ready to go. If you assembled it, that is premeditated and not fit for the situation you described. Go to teh kitchen, grab some vinegar or pepper or both, give them that in the face, then a bit of a kicking.