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Paintball Stories

Al Woods

GFH Trouble Maker
Jul 7, 2001
1,229
181
88
49
Your 30
www.gfh-hq.com
Everbody's got one, surely.

Lets start this one off then.

Picture the scene, Mayhem 2000, we'd been playing since January that year (as Kellys Hero's Young Guns team), I can't remember whether we were K2 or not then...anyway, we managed to gain free entry into Mayhem and of course we were ****ting ourselves as we were greener than than grass. Everything we knew was what the lads from Kellys taught us or did for us, we hadn't a clue what we were doing so we left our accomodation up to Kellys. This turned out to be a couple of badly pitched tents in a field.

Now, anyone who played Mayhem 2000 will remember just how f'kin wet and cold it was, it pissed it down through the night as we travelled down late on to our awaiting tents that the boys had promised to have already set up nicely for us. We got there, real dark, real cold and proper wet through. Tony and co. directed us to our tents, now the Kellys family are quite knowledgeable(?) and obviously had some super size family tents goin' on so we thought 'sweet, we'll have a top tent for the whole team'...no, no, no, not the case. Three to a two man tent. We found ours which was perfectly situated in the middle of a pond, a nice two inch deep dip in the grass which, as the rain came down over night, turned into a nice two inch deep pool.

Again, picture the scene, 6am, quite warm but uncomfortable due to a bad nights sleep, the tent has almost an inch of water inside and our sleeping bags are wet right through to our skin, to the point of dripping when you got out. We played all day with colds and stiff bodies and spent the next night on the wooden floor in the back of a truck. Awesome.

Moral?? Don't let Kellys set up a tent for you AND hotels are built for a damn good reason.

Big up Kellys for getting us into 'ball and showing us the hard way.

Anyone else got any stories?? I thought this was kinda relevant seeing as Elsham in January is coming up and I've seen some mindless chat of 'camping' flying around. Heed my words.

H-O-T-E-L-S


:D
 

Al Woods

GFH Trouble Maker
Jul 7, 2001
1,229
181
88
49
Your 30
www.gfh-hq.com
I'm saving that one big guy

I'll wait and see what other stories turn up first, it might look like I'm launching a personal attack on Kellys, our second family.

It's a good one though aint it.
 

Chris-Kellys

ninja baller
Nov 25, 2002
59
0
0
Souf!!
Please note this is obviolsly aimed at the kellys family and not most of the current team

Just thought i`d say that

Thanks
 

Al Woods

GFH Trouble Maker
Jul 7, 2001
1,229
181
88
49
Your 30
www.gfh-hq.com
This aint goin nowhere is it?

Right then, here's the DMAz story, are y'all sitting comfortably??

Again, picture the scene, our first foreign Millennium event, super excited, lets have it, gonna be great.

How do we get there?? Well, Tracey Paint and Stu & co. have organised a 'coach' trip over. K2, Kellys, Imperial and Inferno all on one coach, should be a good laugh and it is all planned and guess what, it was a 'cheap' way of getting there.

Please note: words highlighted with the ' ' marks are key to the experience.

So, we meet at the Traffrod Centre at 2am, had to be this early so we would have 'plenty of time' to get there, find site, get registered and walk the fields. It was our first big foreign event so walking the fields was high on our priorities. This, alas, wasn't going to happen.

Firstly, the coach was late, not a lot, so it didn't really piss us off, when it arrived we were all stoked and ready to go. One coach, '2 drivers' tv, decent toilet, awesome. Oh, hang on a bit, there SHOULD have been 2 drivers, but there wasn't. The water in the loo didn't work and as for a tv, didn't happen (not that I can remember). the thing with not having 2 drivers is that they have a limit to how much driving they can do by law/contract, so this seriously cut down the amount of time we'd have to sort our **** out when we got there, which should have been around 1-2pm in the afternoon at latest. But nooooooo, that didn't happen either. As much fun as we had on the coach, what with the introduction of the electrified fly swatter on the nose of sleeping fools gag amongs other things, it was a blast, BUT when we eventually arrive at site at around 6pm, 4+ hours behind the jokes began to be forgotten.

We then had to queue (along with everyone else) to register, which went tits up when the computer broke, AND walk the fields in the 1 hour time limit we had been given by the 'single coach driver' we began to thing our chance of competing flew right out the window. 1 hour later, half assed field walking attempts in toe we set off for our 'hotel'. HOTEL?? Ha haaaa, firstly: our place of residents was another hours drive away from site 'nowhere near the 'Dam'.
Secondly: it turned the 'hotel' in question wasn't really a hotel but an old folks residents home, wall to wall coffin dodgers (they all seemed to love us though). This meant we had to keep quiet, they didn't really serve any food, BUT the bar was pretty good. This residents was in the middle of a ****ty run down housing estate with a supermarket that was ready for shutting when we got back from site.

So, we never went to any players' patries, we only managed to visit the porn district with the man of the moment Jay for about an hour or so on the Sunday, we stayed in a morgue and ate ****ty cheese hotdogs at site and rubber cheese and ham sandwiches.

Note: there aren't any bad feelings about it all coz it was just funny after a while....oh, and we beat the piss outta GZ.

:D
 

Chris-Kellys

ninja baller
Nov 25, 2002
59
0
0
Souf!!
I do think the juerney as much hassle as it was, ended up being a lot more fun than a boring 45 minute plane ride! :)
 

blakey

been there, done it.....
Sep 24, 2001
714
0
0
Off the field, way off
Visit site
Sad's first big tourny or so we thought
Ok Guys, here's one that allways amuses the f**k outa me, back in '95 Fimere, Oxon 22 teams had turned up for the ' World 5man Championships' great sounding event.

To keep costs down we along with a number of other teams had decided to camp, no problems there, we were set up next to the Vulcans(remember them!). Well the night was 'kin very entertaining loads of war stories round the campfire, cold beers a plenty, and so on, as the night draws on one of the Vulcans volunteers to go for food, he's gone for what seems an age, never the less the party spirit goes on, he eventually returns with 5 disposable barbeques, which he proceeds to hand out to his Vulcan team mates, they all look suitably impressed til one pipes up .............................where's the food? to which he replies its all inside the box,

He'd seen the pic on the front and read the words all you need for a bbq, and bought 5, and no meat. laugh, ....................

Blakey