Jesus Christ........

[dave t]

A vicar checks into a hotel and say to the clerk ''I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled''. She replies ''No sir, its just regular porn ,you sick twisted tw@t''

 

[Buddha 3]

This is the UK ,the young lad will have required counceling from a flock of do-gooders telling him about saving himself for someone special before he could get any pill

Oh yeah, I forget I'm in Holland. We have a thing for pills, particularly methyleendioxymethamfetamine.

 

[Cook$]

But seriously, would you mind explaining why you had to go to a sex clinic? After all, chlamydia only requires a trip to the doctor to get your blood examined and then a trip to the chemist, to get ONE pill... just ONE. No clinic involved.

Never used too.....

 

[J@mes]

Girls' privates have schools in England?
That's brilliant!

But seriously, would you mind explaining why you had to go to a sex clinic? After all, chlamydia only requires a trip to the doctor to get your blood examined and then a trip to the chemist, to get ONE pill... just ONE. No clinic involved.

at the time, he didn't know it was chlamydia. You apparently go for the test then they ring you a few days later... they rang him while we where at Alton towers, which kinda spoiled his whole day but made ours so much better

James

 

[Mario]

Reminds me of a story that happened to yours truly. 'Bout 7 years back I was seeing this girl. I started to itch. I went to the doctors. He gave me some cream. I started getting spots, in places. I got scared. I went to the clinic. The clinic has a small waiting room, bout 20ft by 20ft, which is small, when there are about 40 pramfaced chavs filling it. Anyway, I wait my turn and get called. I go through the door and walk down the little corridor into the examination room. I hop on the bed, and get Little Cook out. The nurse takes a swab. I freak, it hurts and I don't like it. She says "Now this one might hurt a bit" and rams a dental pick down my Hog's eye. I immediately feel sick. She starts talking about blood tests etc, but all I can hear is white noise, I want out of there, I feel BAD. So I get up, walk down the corridor, open the door to the waiting room, take 3 steps and my brain turns off and smack, I hit the floor, out cold. Turns out, whenever anyone sticks a dental pick into my urethra, I go into shock, and pass out. I remember seeing people's feet walking out, as they had to evacuate the room, of the 40 odd chavs.. I also remember a little bit of wee leaking out. That's when they put me on a stretcher, and took me off to A&E to test my blood sugar.
My clinic tests came back negative.
The itching turned out to be scabies.
Dirty bitch.

There's nothing quite as painful as this is there cook$ my man? The whole dental pick etc...

 

[Devrij]

Oh yeah, I forget I'm in Holland. We have a thing for pills, particularly methyleendioxymethamfetamine.

Methamphetamine, it's spelt with a "ph". Puuuleeeeese, and you call yourself a drug user Speaking of which, am I the only one that finds it funny how people in the UK think MDMA is something seperate to ecstacy because their pills are cut so badly?

 

[Buddha 3]

Puuuleeeeese, and you call yourself a drug user?

Nope, not at all. Never used any, never will. Don't get high off your own supply and all that. So a drug user? No.... Something else? Maybe....

 

[Devrij]

Not in Holland it is...Nope, not at all. Never used any, never will. Don't get high off your own supply and all that. So a drug user? No.... Something else? Maybe....

I used to know guys like you, personally I appreciated you good businessmen to sitting in a parking lot for 4 hours waiting for a guy who'sgonnabetherein8 1/2minutesEXACTLYmansochilllchillokaaaaaayaaaaagh! lol. But those days are over, I'm a perfectly normal necrophiliac now.

 

[A-Dawg]

I found this.

It made me and my mate laugh, thats probably just being immature though

 

[seany boy]

Irish guy, italian guy and a Chinese guy start working for a builder.
The builder has a job to move a huge pile of sand.
The builder says:
to the italian guy - "You're in charge of shovelling"
to the Irish Guy - "You're in charge of sweeping"
to the chinese guy - "you're in charge of supplies"

..."and this pile of sand better be gone when I get back"

he comnes bacdk later, the pile is still there, and the irish and Italian guys are standing there.

"WTF - why is this sand still here?"

The Italian guy says "I know you asked me to shovela da sand, but you putta the chinese guy in charga the supplies, and he disappeared, I have not seen him since you left"
The Irish guy says, to be shere you put me in charge of sweeping so you did, but yer chinese laddie loeft and I havn't seen him since this morning so I havn't"

They all stand there looking around, and suddenly the chinese guy jumps out from the pile of sand, where he has laid buried all day, and shouts "SUPPLIES!!!"

THANKS AND GOODNIGHT.

Brilliant.