I'm writing this, and posting it around. You're reading this because the title intrigued you or you are a cheating SOB. Ok, that's fine. Please, I would like to ask a simple favor of you if you are the latter.
The fact is that I can not change your mind from cheating. Heavens knows I've tried. And since paintball as a 'sport' has pretty much abandoned most of the roots of the game, I can't expect anyone to stop cheating because I ask them to. So, I have one request.
If you are going to cheat, at least do it well. Or at least admit that you're doing it.
Don't take a hopper hit, go back down behind your bunker, wipe it, and come up in the same spot. That's just showing me you're not only a bad cheater, but you're stupid enough to not learn from the first time. That goes for shoe hits too.
Please wipe hits in a manner that it is not obvious to myself, as your opponent. At least get behind a bunker to do it. I don't want to see you cheat, I like to believe that you are an honest person. On a related note, have the cojones to admit that your technique of running to a bunker is meant to wipe hits. A hand over your goggles while you run makes it easier to wipe away hits when you "Superman" into your primary, and is not meant to "deflect" balls. Same goes for creative sliding techniques, like the "360 barrel roll". At least that was a creative method to wipe.
If you're going to wipe a hit, please make sure that it's not on film. And if it is on film, don't try to convince me that wiping your neck with the flag was done because your neck 'itched'. And if you're going to wipe, please don't do it on the Jumbotron at Skyball where your wipe will be seen larger than life in front of all your peers.
If you are 5 foot tall, try to wear clothing that might actually fit you, or at least look like it might. They make 3 XL jerseys for tall overweight people like me, not anorexic twigs like you. Speaking of jerseys, admit that there is no real reason to have shoulder padding other than to get bouncers or try to induce them. Don't blow sunshine up my butt by claiming it's to protect someone when they slide into a bunker.
If you're going to wear padding, I can't fault you for that. But unless you're some kind of mutant, you don't need to wear two sets of elbow pads on your arms to cover your forearms AND your elbows. And if you're not a front guy, do you REALLY need to wear slider shorts with padding on the hips?
Just because you cheat, don't assume that everyone else does too. I realize that in your minds, the theory is that because you do it, everyone else will as well. This is simply not the case.
If you're going to intentionally cheat the chrony, please let me know before the game. I'll be sure to use my new goggle lenses that game, for fear that you will blow out anything but brand new stuff. This will also help explain to me why you need to wear two pairs of elbow pads on your arms, because you may be figuring that I will be doing the same as you and you wish to prevent injury to yourself.
If you get caught, at least have the courage to take it like a man. Instead of making excuses, or attacking your accuser when you know he's right, either walk it off knowing you got caught or actually have the courage to admit that you did cheat! Nothing is more pathetic than a guy screaming that the hit on his back was not from a paintball, but came from something else. It would be refreshing to once actually hear a cheater say "Yeah, I got away with it." or "Yeah, he caught me cheating."
Just a few things I wanted to get out into the open.
-Tyger
The fact is that I can not change your mind from cheating. Heavens knows I've tried. And since paintball as a 'sport' has pretty much abandoned most of the roots of the game, I can't expect anyone to stop cheating because I ask them to. So, I have one request.
If you are going to cheat, at least do it well. Or at least admit that you're doing it.
Don't take a hopper hit, go back down behind your bunker, wipe it, and come up in the same spot. That's just showing me you're not only a bad cheater, but you're stupid enough to not learn from the first time. That goes for shoe hits too.
Please wipe hits in a manner that it is not obvious to myself, as your opponent. At least get behind a bunker to do it. I don't want to see you cheat, I like to believe that you are an honest person. On a related note, have the cojones to admit that your technique of running to a bunker is meant to wipe hits. A hand over your goggles while you run makes it easier to wipe away hits when you "Superman" into your primary, and is not meant to "deflect" balls. Same goes for creative sliding techniques, like the "360 barrel roll". At least that was a creative method to wipe.
If you're going to wipe a hit, please make sure that it's not on film. And if it is on film, don't try to convince me that wiping your neck with the flag was done because your neck 'itched'. And if you're going to wipe, please don't do it on the Jumbotron at Skyball where your wipe will be seen larger than life in front of all your peers.
If you are 5 foot tall, try to wear clothing that might actually fit you, or at least look like it might. They make 3 XL jerseys for tall overweight people like me, not anorexic twigs like you. Speaking of jerseys, admit that there is no real reason to have shoulder padding other than to get bouncers or try to induce them. Don't blow sunshine up my butt by claiming it's to protect someone when they slide into a bunker.
If you're going to wear padding, I can't fault you for that. But unless you're some kind of mutant, you don't need to wear two sets of elbow pads on your arms to cover your forearms AND your elbows. And if you're not a front guy, do you REALLY need to wear slider shorts with padding on the hips?
Just because you cheat, don't assume that everyone else does too. I realize that in your minds, the theory is that because you do it, everyone else will as well. This is simply not the case.
If you're going to intentionally cheat the chrony, please let me know before the game. I'll be sure to use my new goggle lenses that game, for fear that you will blow out anything but brand new stuff. This will also help explain to me why you need to wear two pairs of elbow pads on your arms, because you may be figuring that I will be doing the same as you and you wish to prevent injury to yourself.
If you get caught, at least have the courage to take it like a man. Instead of making excuses, or attacking your accuser when you know he's right, either walk it off knowing you got caught or actually have the courage to admit that you did cheat! Nothing is more pathetic than a guy screaming that the hit on his back was not from a paintball, but came from something else. It would be refreshing to once actually hear a cheater say "Yeah, I got away with it." or "Yeah, he caught me cheating."
Just a few things I wanted to get out into the open.
-Tyger
