Advice/Suggestions + Good breakout/action pictures?
- Thread starter Will L
- Start date
OK, here's a bit of feedback, don't take anything to heart and I'm not getting at you, they are good attempts and the tech bit looks particularly good. But I'll just lay out some of the things we have to do every issue and give you an idea of what we think about with designs etc.
Cover
The title font isn't consistent with the inside font, and stands out as such as it's stylised. Try simpler, bolder fonts - look at Esquire, Arena, GQ, Kingpin, MOTO - all great titles.
Also, make the Pressure stretch all the way across the page, there's too big a gap on each side. The best thing to do is go into WHSmiths and just take pictures of all the covers you can on your phone, then come home and look for things that are consistent across them. Skate/BMX/Surf mags are all good starting points.
Coverlines - they need to "sell" what's inside, not simply state it. e.g. "Pressure interviews Jon Edwards on his move to HPG" - Why do I care? What does he say? Why should I bother reading it? "They're all a bunch of dirty cheaters who screwed me over" Jon Edwards on why he left Team whatever - that'll make me a lot more interested. You can always find a good hook, just think "if I was telling my mates about this interview, what would I say?" it'll probably be "Did you hear Jon say XXXXX in that pressure interview" - that's your hook.
There are two choices with coverlines, very few or a lot. Something like Kingpin or MOTO have one or two, the girls weeklies have 101 (PGi goes for more). You need to pick your style and do it well. The coverlines on the left are too long, and too few IMHO. They need to be two lines each at best, then you can add probably two more in there. Using quotes and different coloured lines can also make one subject or feature look like more. I know you only have 12 pages, but make it look inviting by having as many coverlines as you can that shows what's inside the magazine, make them look at it and go "there's a lot in there, it'll be worth the money". Also, coverlines/cross heads and captions never end in a full stop (you have on on the Ego 8 one).
The World Cup stuff I don't like. Does "Picture, results, releases" sell it? Does "Ironmen slay the russians. Was this the best game in paintball history? We have the full story inside" sell it more?
Does "Gift inside" tell a reader anything? Does a picture of a cure bolt and "FREE Cure bolt for every reader" sell it more? Think of it that way.
INTERVIEW
I like this overall, a good start, good use of colour and I like the shadow B&W pic on the first page. The main thing I'd say is it's too short so you're using too large a font. We use between 8 and 9pt fonts depending on the font style and how it reads. The average page in PGi has around 700-800 words, and that's true of most mags we do. If you want it to look as professional as possible, write more - or use bigger pictures
It'll look small on screen but when you print it out I promise you it'll look weird.
1st page
Make sure your columns line up at the bottom and top. Cut out / fill in text to make it fit if you have to.
Watch for orphans (second column, second para "offer" is an orphan). Write more or adjust tracking up a notch to space out the lines above it.
2nd page
Again, looks good, the inclusion of an ad at the bottom is a clever touch and will be noticed. I think the pic could be the same style as page one. I'd avoid photoshop filters and things, the pic on page 1 looked best I think.
Other than that, sub them very closely for errors
EGO review
Looks really good, I really like it. I like the cut outs but watch that they are done well, e.g. the one on the left doesn't line up with the outline, especially around the bolt.
Otherwise, check for errors, watch for orphans and write more to reduce the font size you need to use. I'd also introduce the orange colour from the splat background in the cross heads. I also like the faded title across the page, but I think it could be bigger.
Last thing, it looks like you've copied and pasted the titles from the ego tech zone from planet, they look fuzzy. It'd be better to recreate them from scratch.
Overall they are a good effort, and you don't have to do a lot to do to get some really good looking pages. Good work.
Cover
The title font isn't consistent with the inside font, and stands out as such as it's stylised. Try simpler, bolder fonts - look at Esquire, Arena, GQ, Kingpin, MOTO - all great titles.
Also, make the Pressure stretch all the way across the page, there's too big a gap on each side. The best thing to do is go into WHSmiths and just take pictures of all the covers you can on your phone, then come home and look for things that are consistent across them. Skate/BMX/Surf mags are all good starting points.
Coverlines - they need to "sell" what's inside, not simply state it. e.g. "Pressure interviews Jon Edwards on his move to HPG" - Why do I care? What does he say? Why should I bother reading it? "They're all a bunch of dirty cheaters who screwed me over" Jon Edwards on why he left Team whatever - that'll make me a lot more interested. You can always find a good hook, just think "if I was telling my mates about this interview, what would I say?" it'll probably be "Did you hear Jon say XXXXX in that pressure interview" - that's your hook.
There are two choices with coverlines, very few or a lot. Something like Kingpin or MOTO have one or two, the girls weeklies have 101 (PGi goes for more). You need to pick your style and do it well. The coverlines on the left are too long, and too few IMHO. They need to be two lines each at best, then you can add probably two more in there. Using quotes and different coloured lines can also make one subject or feature look like more. I know you only have 12 pages, but make it look inviting by having as many coverlines as you can that shows what's inside the magazine, make them look at it and go "there's a lot in there, it'll be worth the money". Also, coverlines/cross heads and captions never end in a full stop (you have on on the Ego 8 one).
The World Cup stuff I don't like. Does "Picture, results, releases" sell it? Does "Ironmen slay the russians. Was this the best game in paintball history? We have the full story inside" sell it more?
Does "Gift inside" tell a reader anything? Does a picture of a cure bolt and "FREE Cure bolt for every reader" sell it more? Think of it that way.
INTERVIEW
I like this overall, a good start, good use of colour and I like the shadow B&W pic on the first page. The main thing I'd say is it's too short so you're using too large a font. We use between 8 and 9pt fonts depending on the font style and how it reads. The average page in PGi has around 700-800 words, and that's true of most mags we do. If you want it to look as professional as possible, write more - or use bigger pictures
It'll look small on screen but when you print it out I promise you it'll look weird.1st page
Make sure your columns line up at the bottom and top. Cut out / fill in text to make it fit if you have to.
Watch for orphans (second column, second para "offer" is an orphan). Write more or adjust tracking up a notch to space out the lines above it.
2nd page
Again, looks good, the inclusion of an ad at the bottom is a clever touch and will be noticed. I think the pic could be the same style as page one. I'd avoid photoshop filters and things, the pic on page 1 looked best I think.
Other than that, sub them very closely for errors
EGO review
Looks really good, I really like it. I like the cut outs but watch that they are done well, e.g. the one on the left doesn't line up with the outline, especially around the bolt.
Otherwise, check for errors, watch for orphans and write more to reduce the font size you need to use. I'd also introduce the orange colour from the splat background in the cross heads. I also like the faded title across the page, but I think it could be bigger.
Last thing, it looks like you've copied and pasted the titles from the ego tech zone from planet, they look fuzzy. It'd be better to recreate them from scratch.
Overall they are a good effort, and you don't have to do a lot to do to get some really good looking pages. Good work.
WOW beaker, thanks for taking the time to give me feedback. You have given a lot if input there.
Ill get back to work on checking them over for problems. And will adjust/fix the things you have noted. Nice one. Any critiscm even if its against/bad is good. It allows me to improve. I like the ideas of various 'hooks'. I am going to get to work on that too.
Oh and I did cut out the titles from the eclipse thing....lol But I was going to work on making my own, I originally put them there as a rough draft to see what it would look like.
I have more to upload later today.
Cheers
-Will
Ill get back to work on checking them over for problems. And will adjust/fix the things you have noted. Nice one. Any critiscm even if its against/bad is good. It allows me to improve. I like the ideas of various 'hooks'. I am going to get to work on that too.
Oh and I did cut out the titles from the eclipse thing....lol But I was going to work on making my own, I originally put them there as a rough draft to see what it would look like.
I have more to upload later today.
Cheers
-Will
Have done a few of your suggestions on the front cover. I've still got more to do (gift,articles etc..), but Im going to call it a day and carry on tomorrow.
Heres what Ive done so far. Any better?
http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/968/pressurefinalfinal2hn2.gif
(just wish I had a better pic of me for the front)
-Will
Heres what Ive done so far. Any better?
http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/968/pressurefinalfinal2hn2.gif
(just wish I had a better pic of me for the front
)-Will
we get hands on with - is what is said - nothing wrong about thatIt looks brilliant! Apart from the bit 'We get hands with the EGO 08' shouldn't it be 'We get our hands on the EGO 08'? Correct me if I am totally wrong
I dont like the bit about ironmen slaying russians. Gay, russians all the way even though they lost.