15 things you didn't want to know :)

[Justin Owen]

Thank you!!!

>>>>(ain't that nice we all agree ) <<<<

Always nice to be in agreement. LOL

>>>>I think their is just too much conective tissue involved to eject the stomach let alone the intestines and other "guts" this must take in the Liver Spleen Kidneys<<<<

You be right, my brother!

>>>>The inside out rectum is very true...Its called a prolapsed rectum<<<<

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! I was having a serious brainfart and couldn't, for the life of me, get the word "prolapsed" into my skull (or out from its depths...LOL). Yeah, just two days ago we were going over some stuff and a picture of a really nasty one went up on the overhead...much to our shock, much to the delight of our professor. Ewwwww...


LOL
~Justin~

 

[Buddha 3]

Thank you!

See, this kind of stuff is why I was an economics major! Boring as hell ofcourse, but at least it didn't effect your appetite.......
It is now official, all you doctor type people, and other folks that prod around in the human body are all sick people. Sick, I tell you. sick!!!!

I have only one more thing to say, and that's YUK!

By the way, am I the only one, or does everyone think that the pepperoni kid needs a good asswhooping?

 

[Tyger]

ok, time to crack this out. EMS memo

Well, if we're gonna bring up guts, gore, and rectums (Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!), it's time to bust this out.

Real EMS memo. I know my source. Don't drink coffee when you read this. the names have been removed to protect teh very, VERY guilty...

-begin

Fire/Rescue Memorandum Office of the Fire Chief

To: All Riding Members From: Chief of Operations

Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that
many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction
lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from
using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the
following.

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to with MUH (messed
up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or
HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers
to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their
mental state.

3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall
down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger
helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to
include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface"
or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow
worms."

5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are
not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital
implants."

7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor is
endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge".

8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as
being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC
(Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), or NLPR (no long
playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of
our patients to include their medical orientations in creating
proper narratives and log entries.

-end


Post notes : No mention of "crispy critters", "bumsickles", "Flourescent Light Therapy" (Sending the family to the waiting room), or a few other fun ones. Someday I'll type up the EMS stories my friend told me about. He's a driver for an ambulance in Chicago. He's heard and seen stuff that makes TJ Lambini's grammar and manners seem eloquent.

But, seeing all the doctoral types here arguing semantics of where guts are, I know you'll love this stuff.

Come to think of it, how many paintball players are "pharmaceutically gifted", and can we call beng eliminated in a paintball game "Having a negative paintball to player interface"?

-Tyger

 

[permboy]

hehehe
You got to admit tho this did get you thinking about what could happen didn't it?

I think that tyger's memo is class and i'm gonna have to use them to describe the goons i know lol

 

[Liz]

Tyger

Many, many thanks for the warning about not drinking coffee, there would have been a disaster if I'd been drinking.
Very, very funny indeed

 

[Smokin']

Tyger, I've seen that memo too. Laughed my ass off. I work in EMS and for a Fire Dept. I've seen and done some very gross stuff. Sometimes it's really hard not to fall down laughing at the poor soul that just had a really bad day. People do some stupid stuff. When I get a chance I'll post some stories. Got some about things put in places they should not be.
Buddha, you are so right. EMS types are all sick people. Gotta stay sane somehow

 

[kris]

After reading all these i am never leaving my room again.
Sod the world, its a dirty place anyway.
If you want to contact me i'll be in my room!
slide your details under the door and make sure your decontaminated before you enter.
I'll set up a sup air field in front so i can play from my window.
damn it, even computers have viruses.
abort abort
I think i've already gone mad. Everywhere i look i can see POBS
AARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

[Smokin']

cool we're POB people

 

[permboy]

At the risk of sounding incredibly stupid
who the hell is pob's?

 

[Chris - Nexus Eclipse]

YEAH, i wanted to know but thought it would be stupid to ask