Sounds like assault to me...
He's going to look well good with pink stained face and welts all over him, for his Honeymoon.
He may not even be allowed into Bars etc, if it looks like he has been in a big fight recently.
Some bright spark, is bound to want to shoot him in the Nuts. But what is a little blunt trauma to soft flesh, between "friends"?
Of course, that isn't important. What really matters, is that all of his "friends", will have lots of fun, stripping him down, humiliating him, and possibly ruining his Wedding day and or Honeymoon, possibly parenthood.
How about Creosoat? The stuff you put on fences to stop them rotting?
Then he will look brown, smell like a fence and probably be slightly flammable too, which is a bonus.