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Friday Night Rant (featuring internet browser troubles)

Skeet

Skeet

Platinum Member
Sep 15, 2002
7,783
8
113
Most inappropriate thing on the Forum...
www.freewebs.com
Cook$ said:
Right, firstly, my internet has frigged me off this week because I couldn't get onto the forum. But I ended up more frigged off, because I could go to any other website, but found I only wanted to come here. Which is quite upsetting, as there must be more to the internet than this. I even resorted to going to going back to Myspace to see if I had any message. I had. Amd a million friend requests off sexy girls. Who'd all virus me to fxxk if I added them.

Another thing that has done my frigging head in recently, is headphones. Nowadays, they make head phones with one bit longer than the other. WHAT THE FXXK FOR? It wasn't a problem, but it is now. You put your left ear in, no probs, all is fine. Then you put your right ear in, and the cord just dangles irritating your neck, and as there is no weight on it, it keeps falling out of your ear. Why the hell did someone think this would be an improvement?

I broke my phone. It's insured so I phoned up, and said that I'd like to have a new handset. She said that'll be £25. I thought 'Fair enough, it'd cost more than that to fix it'. Then she asked 'Did you break it, or is it a fault?' I said, 'Well,the joystick has gone wrong, but I haven't really done anything to break it, I guess it's just worn out.' So she says, ' Well, if it's a fault, we won't replace it, it's a repair isssue.' So I said 'But it doesn't work...'
Her 'But it's a fault, you haven't broken it'
Me 'Ok then, yes, I have broken it.'
Her 'You said it was a fault'
Me 'So if I broke it, I can have a new handset, if it's a fault, I'll have to send it to be repaired?'
Her 'Yes'
Me 'It's broken then. The joystick doesn't work, and the screen is cracked'
Her 'Ok, when did this happen, and how?'
Me 'Just now, when I stamped on it.'
For fxxk's sake.

We have breakfast club in school, and being a bit hungover today I ordered an egg and sausage toastie. It came with red sauce, which I didn't order, but I thought Hell, let's go nuts. So I ate it. But she had made it with toast, sausage on top, egg on top of that, sauce, then the other toast. So the sauce made the egg frictionless. So there was egg everywhere. All over one of the kids maths books, and all over my shirt. It's hard to teach kids how to add fractions when there is egg dribbling down your sleeves. It' aint rocket science, it's cooking a frigging toastie. Think it through sunshine.
And while we are ont the subject, you either cut the bread straight across, or corner to corner, not at any angle you frigging well feel like. Christ, such a simple thing, but infinitely annoying.

How come my recycle bin is a fraction of the size of everyone else on the estate's? Don't they know how many cans I get through in a week?

Why is my bathroom light switch not in my bathroom?

Why does she have to put the remote control on the television stand, thereby negating it's existence?

And so on..........
Click to expand...
If your bathroom light switch was in the bathroom, it would have to be a pull cord, with the switch mounted to the ceiling, so that you don't electrocute yourself switching it with a wet hand.

Of course, they stick the switch right outside the door, so you could quite easily have wet hands when you leave the bathroom, not because you washed them after peeing, but because you are so drunk you have pee'd on your hands.

Or perhaps, because you want to get into the bedroom quick as the Mrs is in there, you have just washed your knob so that it's nice and fresh, just in case and you haven't dried it because you want her to know you have just washed it, which means you didn't even go near the towel.

So, I suppose they figure, if your outside the bathroom, it's not their fault if you get electrocuted.

As for the remote, a place for everything and everything in it's place.

Or, in woman speak.

A place for anything, put everything in this place. This place is safe.
 
X

x RENAGADE x 91

Platinum Member
May 10, 2007
444
39
38
33
Bristol
Skeet said:
If your bathroom light switch was in the bathroom, it would have to be a pull cord, with the switch mounted to the ceiling, so that you don't electrocute yourself switching it with a wet hand.
Click to expand...
but what if your in their taking a sh!t and sum cnut comes along and turns the barstard thing off!!!!
 
MJ

MJ

IM AGG...my mom says
Oct 24, 2007
987
0
61
Tamworth
the place for the remote should be in between under or buried between cushions :p this way you know when you sit down after a hard day all you have to do is go into your secret stash for "man things" and hey presto your set for the night. just a shame the couch doesnt double as a fridge. cold beer, snax and a remote all at your side. what more could you ask for ??? :D;):p
 
Skeet

Skeet

Platinum Member
Sep 15, 2002
7,783
8
113
Most inappropriate thing on the Forum...
www.freewebs.com
MJ2k7 said:
the place for the remote should be in between under or buried between cushions :p this way you know when you sit down after a hard day all you have to do is go into your secret stash for "man things" and hey presto your set for the night. just a shame the couch doesnt double as a fridge. cold beer, snax and a remote all at your side. what more could you ask for ??? :D;):p
Click to expand...
A woman kneeling attentively in front of you...?
 
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