I think you need to change your emphasis here and do what some others have suggested, take a deep breath, kick back awhile and just go play paintball to enjoy it.
You seem to be wanting to fly before you can crawl .... slow down a bit mate and things will become a little clearer for you .. once you've done that, there are plenty of guys on here who can help you along the way but your approach to our sport is what you need to change at the moment ....
You seem to be wanting to fly before you can crawl .... slow down a bit mate and things will become a little clearer for you .. once you've done that, there are plenty of guys on here who can help you along the way but your approach to our sport is what you need to change at the moment ....