Welcome To P8ntballer.com
The Home Of European Paintball
Sign Up & Join In

Talkin **** Gives You A Fat LIP!

Paintball is a very aggressive sport, I beleive it when I hear that a rich spoiled little brat threw his angel or cocker on the ground when tagged. However, this can be controlled by a little something we all call human desency.

Recently I was playing at our local feild Lethbridge Paintball "Awsome Arena Action". I have a young growing team a 5 man. We were playin a group of older walkons, the majority of us being 16-18, them being 20-30. I just bought my new 2000 Autococker and had just bought my 12V Revy and 12 inch All American Barrel. So naturally I was eager to try it out. First game was a slaughter, I am a backman and off the break I hit 3 guys as they just got settled into their bunkers. I was having a ton of fun! Like all ballers, they started to adjust and got one or two of us out in a game.

To tell the truth I hate playing with the Walkons because it's cheap. I myself am still playing in rookies and truthfuly am not that great. However walkons is the best practise for my team.

I got googged early on a long ball from the other side of the feild and took my place in the dead box. To my suprise I hear this fat newbie talking about how much we suck and that we should be moving more and that we are all gun no skill. I walked up to the guy and looked the 3 hundred pounder in the eye and said. " Look who's winning look who's losing". He rolled his eyes and kept watching. I was really angry, here we were trying to help them with their game letting them test out my freinds angel. I could'nt help myself and the next game I left my position and lit the fat ass up like a fire crakcker. I felt bad though I have always been one to keep my temper in check.

How do you tourney monkeys do it any advice???
 

KillerOnion

Lord of the Ringtones
More or less like that, depending on the situation. Sometimes an extra unnecessary shot (like to the ass or balls) just to let them know that we didn't forget about last time. Also posted bunkerings are satisfactory--holding someone down from both tapes to the point they have to be completely curled up and pinched down inside their bunker then having the third guy give them a few shots in the back or top of the head by bunkering them...generally that's terrifying enough to dampen anyone's spirits. Any fat, big mouthed squid talking crap will immediately cease to do so and probably soil their pants. If it's within the context of the game, clean (not blatantly against the rules of fair play), and actually or seemingly incidental then it's fair game.

Also you could put a quarter in his hopper and/or turn his bolt upside down if he's shooting a Cocker or Bushy and it's not a 360 degree venturi.
 

KillerOnion

Lord of the Ringtones
Ooh, and don't forget...

Take their women when they're not looking. Cook the girl in question a good dinner (see reference some of my tasty recipes) while the aforementioned ******* is on vacation, mix a couple of good margaritas or Long Island Iced teas followed by some shots of amaretto or buttery nipples (the drink...then of course there are hers afterwards) and PRESTO! She's in the sack with you, you get laid AND revenge at the same time.

In the event that they are single, take a Zippo to their nudie magazines or glue them to the ceiling.