Its that time of year again.. Looking for any good jokes..

[kartmann187]

Yep.. Looking for another load of festive jokes or storys.. There must be loads of there.. I need some new material for a xmas do thats is coming up... So make them rude and funny.. or just down right bad..

It does not matter how poor they may seem. Trust me there going to be better than some of the ones I have at the mo...

 

[Buddha 3]

How do you make a cat bark?
Drench it with gasoline, and light a fire........WOOFFFFF!!!!!!

How do you make a dog meow?
Freeze it until it is solid, then drag it across a circular saw.....MEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!

 

[kartmann187]

Thats not bad.. but there can not only be Buddha 3 online that has some really naff jokes....

 

[Piper]

I Have one

Kartmann

I have a great joke........
What do you call a really crap paintballer?
Woodie

Stop it my sides are splitting

Piper

 

[JustBeenBunkered]

What's the difference between... ah, forget it.

 

[woodsta]

bad joke

That Woodie joke is really bad. No offence. Just that is my name, and if that is personal, i will bust a cap in your ass when i next see you!!!!! only kiddin,

 

[Joao Duro]

Know how an elefant goes thru... say, Trafalgar Sq. without being seen?

Dressed up in sun glasses and raincoat!!!
Ever seen one?
There you go

 

[Tony]

What's George Michael and a pair of wellies got in common?

They both get sucked off in bogs.

 

[Buddha 3]

(can't believe I'm posting such lousy jokes.....)

It's green, it's got four legs, and if it jumps on you, then you're dead.......


















A pooltable.

 

[Tony]

Jock gets sent to court. Prosecutor is reading out the charge.

³My Lud, Jock here has been perpetrating one of the worst kinds of sick
crimes to animals, namely interfering in a sexual way with cats².

³Case dismissed² said the beak.

³But I have not even started to tell you about the heinous things he has
been doing² says the prosecutor

³Don't care, case dismissed² said the beak again.

The prosecutor approached the bench, and asked if the judge could give him
one reason why Jock should not be prosecuted under the law.

³Well,² said the beak, ³I have never known a Scot to put anything in a kitty
before.²