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Friday Night Rant (featuring internet browser troubles)

Cook$

Just the tip....
Jul 7, 2001
5,749
1,000,920
348
41
Championsville
Right, firstly, my internet has frigged me off this week because I couldn't get onto the forum. But I ended up more frigged off, because I could go to any other website, but found I only wanted to come here. Which is quite upsetting, as there must be more to the internet than this. I even resorted to going to going back to Myspace to see if I had any message. I had. Amd a million friend requests off sexy girls. Who'd all virus me to fxxk if I added them.

Another thing that has done my frigging head in recently, is headphones. Nowadays, they make head phones with one bit longer than the other. WHAT THE FXXK FOR? It wasn't a problem, but it is now. You put your left ear in, no probs, all is fine. Then you put your right ear in, and the cord just dangles irritating your neck, and as there is no weight on it, it keeps falling out of your ear. Why the hell did someone think this would be an improvement?

I broke my phone. It's insured so I phoned up, and said that I'd like to have a new handset. She said that'll be £25. I thought 'Fair enough, it'd cost more than that to fix it'. Then she asked 'Did you break it, or is it a fault?' I said, 'Well,the joystick has gone wrong, but I haven't really done anything to break it, I guess it's just worn out.' So she says, ' Well, if it's a fault, we won't replace it, it's a repair isssue.' So I said 'But it doesn't work...'
Her 'But it's a fault, you haven't broken it'
Me 'Ok then, yes, I have broken it.'
Her 'You said it was a fault'
Me 'So if I broke it, I can have a new handset, if it's a fault, I'll have to send it to be repaired?'
Her 'Yes'
Me 'It's broken then. The joystick doesn't work, and the screen is cracked'
Her 'Ok, when did this happen, and how?'
Me 'Just now, when I stamped on it.'
For fxxk's sake.

We have breakfast club in school, and being a bit hungover today I ordered an egg and sausage toastie. It came with red sauce, which I didn't order, but I thought Hell, let's go nuts. So I ate it. But she had made it with toast, sausage on top, egg on top of that, sauce, then the other toast. So the sauce made the egg frictionless. So there was egg everywhere. All over one of the kids maths books, and all over my shirt. It's hard to teach kids how to add fractions when there is egg dribbling down your sleeves. It' aint rocket science, it's cooking a frigging toastie. Think it through sunshine.
And while we are ont the subject, you either cut the bread straight across, or corner to corner, not at any angle you frigging well feel like. Christ, such a simple thing, but infinitely annoying.

How come my recycle bin is a fraction of the size of everyone else on the estate's? Don't they know how many cans I get through in a week?

Why is my bathroom light switch not in my bathroom?

Why does she have to put the remote control on the television stand, thereby negating it's existence?

And so on..........
 

J@mes

If in doubt, flat out!
Jul 11, 2006
3,048
0
71
37
Wakefield, West Yorks.
Another thing that has done my frigging head in recently, is headphones. Nowadays, they make head phones with one bit longer than the other. WHAT THE FXXK FOR? It wasn't a problem, but it is now. You put your left ear in, no probs, all is fine. Then you put your right ear in, and the cord just dangles irritating your neck, and as there is no weight on it, it keeps falling out of your ear. Why the hell did someone think this would be an improvement?
your supposed to put the right ear wire around the back of your neck..... so it just piss' you off when it gets caught or rubs the back of your neck and irritates you... i blame Apple, the *******s! :p

-James
 

Robeenio

Super Robeenio
Dec 4, 2002
792
17
43
41
Staying warm on a sunday!
and sending your buddies on facebook a special message!
thanks dude...
ive been looking for these for ages! :cool:

ok time for a little update, remember i told you about the lovestick enlarger pills that mike and his brother have been taking from http://www.vulkam.com that completly changed their lives, well at least made them into the talk of the town with all the girls around, not to mention 3 of my friends who actually dated them in the past few weeks and can't stop talking. well, heres an update, andrew heard about the pills and he too has been taking them, i am a witness and living proof that his thing is monster huge, yes and don't ask how i seen it, just take my word for it. all i can say is, go now and buy them if you want instant results that they guarentee on any guy who takes them 100 percent or all your money back i even ordered them for you know who. go now to http://www.vulkam.com
 

phil-boy

UK Redskins
May 6, 2004
3,379
770
148
Essex, UK
www.uk-redskins.com
cook$, I dont know you but I just love your rants !!! You seem quite a rashonable person who seems to have the same hang ups as the rest of us.

I agree that you should do stand up, Or help Boris Johnson become the next mayor and totally put London to rights.

:D:D
 

Cook$

Just the tip....
Jul 7, 2001
5,749
1,000,920
348
41
Championsville
Hey, I don't do this to make friends, I do it to spread a bit of the misery I have to endure every day....
 

PortoX

DCF Footsoldier.
Apr 18, 2006
1,505
12
63
35
Ashbourne (Derbyshire)
www.myspace.com
Rants towards the following companies will take too long to care about:

Trent Buses - UP DATE YOUR F**KING WEBSITE YOU F**K NUTS!

Trent Bus Drivers - DON'T EXPECT A HAPPY CUSTOMER WHEN YOU ARRIVE 40 MINUTES LATE WITH NO APOLOGY AND TAKE A BUS PASS OFF ME THAT IS ONLY 2 WEEKS OUT OF DATE BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A DECENT ADMIN TEAM THAT WILL UPDATE ME QUICKER!

Facebook- PLEASE F**K OFF WITH EMAILS THE SAME GARBAGE THAT FLOATS ABOUT THE INTERNET FOR YEARS!

Rail Companies - WHY DID YOU MAKE ME PAY MORE MONEY WHEN I COULD OF GONE A SHORTER JOURNEY FOR LESS MONEY!! TW@S!