This is the UK....
You forgot that this place runs, and indeed thrives, on red tape, beaurocracy and nepotism. Not to mention backhanders, bribes, the "Funny Handshake" mob and your old school (yet to find a way my old school could help me, but I keep trying).
However, I am working on a plan to take over the world with a mate in Suffolk. If it pays off, I'll make sure that all the red tape gets changed to a far better colour.
Blue is nice, possibly Eau de Nile.....
Wookie