No help really but at least I'm pretending to care
Repeat after me--crack is bad, crack is bad...
You, along with Twisty (at present) can beg and plead for the unfeeling, unseeing, unhearing powers at PGI Towers to take pity on you and change your user name to whatever it is you want now. Best of luck with that, btw.
Not to worry--someone will come back to work eventually. In the meantime you're welcome to rail against the unfairness of it all--