Billy Ceranski, ex Aftershock / Ironmen and 6 time world cup winner, and of course, head of Kee Action Sports sales/operations and whatever, has had an inspired idea, well that's what he tells everyone anyway.
He has decided that a new team is to be playing the Millennium next year in a few selected events.
He hasn't yet told me which division the team is entering but here is the team anyway ...you might be shocked at some inclusions here ...
Nicky Cuba Ex Superstar and world cup winner from the Ironmen, this guy truly was one of the top five players in the world and probably still is.
He ain't exactly been blessed with good looks though and has understandably hated me ever since he started playing paintball.
Chris Lasoya : Another (s)ex Superstar of our game who has won everything including world's most prolific paintball slut.
This man has single handedly proposed more times than the entire male population of Serbia ... he was the male equivalent of a hooker except he never got paid. An absolute cad ...but you just can't help liking the slag.
Billy Ceranski : As I said, ex Ironmen, ex Aftershock and 6 time world cup winning champion plus winner of the prestigious hairiest homo sapien award ... when I joined Aftershock a few years back, on my first night with the team in a New Jersey hotel room, I was subjected to a first night humiliation whereby I was held down and had to witness Ceranski's shorts being pulled down in front of me and his ass being bared ......seriously guys, it looked like a fackin carpet, I have seen less hair on a herd of Yaks ...I begun to gag uncontrollably and I still suffer flashbacks where I think I am being attacked by a huge wig.
Billy Wing: ex Ironmen superstar and once again a few world cups to his name. I once shot him out in the world cup of 98 i think, he has tried to live down that shame ever since coz every time i meet him, i remind him of that abject humliation of being elimnated by an aged Englishman abroad.
Mikko: Another Ex Ironmen Superstar and Russian Legion player who also works for Dye.
Ledzy: He doesn't know this yet coz I gotta let him know but I am sure he will join the team; his accomplishments in our sport need no mentioning .... well I couldn't think of any, put it like that I love him really ....not in a fag way I hasten to add !!!
Actually he has done soo much for UK and European paintball that goes unacknowledged, Ledz will actually be put in charge of catering as well as playing, and that ensures we all get fed, well as long as he don't eat it all first.
and now it start to go downhill a bit ......
Robyn Niehass: Works for Dye has head of sales or something like that, his ambition to play alongside some of the greats of this game is only matched by his waistline. Well, he wants to play anyway, but, he has to get this little jolly past his wife and believe me, that's not gonna be easy.
Me, Robyn, his wife and Dave Youngblood all went out for a meal a year or so ago in Croydon, she drank us all under the table and then proceeded to hit Robyn ...with the very same table....I legged it in fear of my life, Dave YB was paralysed with fear and pretended he was dead, and in that way, we ensured Robyn was the only one who got bashed up.
Egi: He is another top kiddie from Dye who actually designs all the DM markers and he has played for some Finnish team I think a few years back but now lives in San Diego.
And now, it doesn't roll downhill so much but hits rock bottom when I was asked to join in; I shall declare unashamedly, I have won two world cups and two world series blah blah blah (that 'blah blah blah' was my feigned attempt at humility), but... I think I have only been invited because they needed somebody with brains and devilish looks, coz to look at the rest of them, they ain't got a good idea between them, and as for looks?
Bejeeezus, that Lasoya is one ugly mofo compared to me ...well that's what that little fairy on my shoulder keeps telling me after chucking all that mdma down my neck ...
Actually I ain't so sure Lasoya has ever won a world cup and so the pinnacle of our sport has eluded him .... ha ha Chrissy boy, kiss my cleats mofo !!!
I think I am gonna end up being the gopher, should be fun though
He has decided that a new team is to be playing the Millennium next year in a few selected events.
He hasn't yet told me which division the team is entering but here is the team anyway ...you might be shocked at some inclusions here ...
Nicky Cuba Ex Superstar and world cup winner from the Ironmen, this guy truly was one of the top five players in the world and probably still is.
He ain't exactly been blessed with good looks though and has understandably hated me ever since he started playing paintball.
Chris Lasoya : Another (s)ex Superstar of our game who has won everything including world's most prolific paintball slut.
This man has single handedly proposed more times than the entire male population of Serbia ... he was the male equivalent of a hooker except he never got paid. An absolute cad ...but you just can't help liking the slag.
Billy Ceranski : As I said, ex Ironmen, ex Aftershock and 6 time world cup winning champion plus winner of the prestigious hairiest homo sapien award ... when I joined Aftershock a few years back, on my first night with the team in a New Jersey hotel room, I was subjected to a first night humiliation whereby I was held down and had to witness Ceranski's shorts being pulled down in front of me and his ass being bared ......seriously guys, it looked like a fackin carpet, I have seen less hair on a herd of Yaks ...I begun to gag uncontrollably and I still suffer flashbacks where I think I am being attacked by a huge wig.
Billy Wing: ex Ironmen superstar and once again a few world cups to his name. I once shot him out in the world cup of 98 i think, he has tried to live down that shame ever since coz every time i meet him, i remind him of that abject humliation of being elimnated by an aged Englishman abroad.
Mikko: Another Ex Ironmen Superstar and Russian Legion player who also works for Dye.
Ledzy: He doesn't know this yet coz I gotta let him know but I am sure he will join the team; his accomplishments in our sport need no mentioning .... well I couldn't think of any, put it like that
I love him really ....not in a fag way I hasten to add !!!Actually he has done soo much for UK and European paintball that goes unacknowledged, Ledz will actually be put in charge of catering as well as playing, and that ensures we all get fed, well as long as he don't eat it all first.
and now it start to go downhill a bit ......
Robyn Niehass: Works for Dye has head of sales or something like that, his ambition to play alongside some of the greats of this game is only matched by his waistline. Well, he wants to play anyway, but, he has to get this little jolly past his wife and believe me, that's not gonna be easy.
Me, Robyn, his wife and Dave Youngblood all went out for a meal a year or so ago in Croydon, she drank us all under the table and then proceeded to hit Robyn ...with the very same table....I legged it in fear of my life, Dave YB was paralysed with fear and pretended he was dead, and in that way, we ensured Robyn was the only one who got bashed up.
Egi: He is another top kiddie from Dye who actually designs all the DM markers and he has played for some Finnish team I think a few years back but now lives in San Diego.
And now, it doesn't roll downhill so much but hits rock bottom when I was asked to join in; I shall declare unashamedly, I have won two world cups and two world series blah blah blah (that 'blah blah blah' was my feigned attempt at humility), but... I think I have only been invited because they needed somebody with brains and devilish looks, coz to look at the rest of them, they ain't got a good idea between them, and as for looks?
Bejeeezus, that Lasoya is one ugly mofo compared to me ...well that's what that little fairy on my shoulder keeps telling me after chucking all that mdma down my neck ...
Actually I ain't so sure Lasoya has ever won a world cup and so the pinnacle of our sport has eluded him .... ha ha Chrissy boy, kiss my cleats mofo !!!
I think I am gonna end up being the gopher, should be fun though
