Chuck Norris/Paintball coolness
- Thread starter Missy-Q
- Start date
if you have £10 and chuck norris has £10 chuck norris has more money.
or my personal favorate
"how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck was chuck norris... all of it"
or my personal favorate
"how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck was chuck norris... all of it"
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Jeep.
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the **** out of the way.
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Jeep.
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the **** out of the way.
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
and so he still has a bigger penis then you.
WHHHOO WHHHOOO
Oh look the pain train .. right on time too
WHHHOO WHHHOOO
Oh look the pain train .. right on time too