Lump, I got an idea mate, get hold of Lemon and tell her you have a treat for her, then direct her to my myspace web page.
Once there, she will be confronted with numerous images of yours truly and a warm glow will begin to envelop her entire being .. wait a couple of minutes for it to take full effect (if she remains unaffected she's a lesbian) and once you are fully satisfied she has succumb to the 'Robbo' effect ..at that point, I know it may not have helped with your condition but at least you can sit back and take solace in the fact you have made another human being, in this case your wife, feel a whole lot better and content with life......
Don't thank me Lump..there's no need mate, seriously...just think of it as a favour to a friend in need.
Peace !