Chapter Two
Just like in many sports that are newly created, there always seems to emerge a company, or individuals who bubble to the top of the pile, and this in mind, a guy called Steve Baldwin and his then partner Paul Wilson created a company called Mayhem Paintball - these guys, especially Steve went on to become a profound influence on the development of UK paintball.
Paintball in those first years was tied up in terms of buying paint, as a player, you couldn’t buy it like we do now, there were no real retail paint business back then in 88-89 and so players had to pay inflated prices if you wanted your next fix .. and of course, people were more than willing to pay - you have to remember, this was the Thatcherite 80s and money was swirling around in a lot people’s pockets.
The events you went to back then had mandatory use of the promoter’s paint. You couldn’t use paint other than what was on offer from the event – this obviously proved a tad beneficial for the promoters but I suppose it allowed them to claw back some of their investment, trouble was, it went on for far too long.
Eventually, players got pissed off and the price was forced down.
Steve and Paul had opened a paintball site down south and both these guys had an acute sense of potential which corralled their business thinking to consider holding a tournament.
The Mayhem Paintball Events : A tournament dynasty unfolds ….
In 1989, they held what I would now describe as the first ‘professionally run’ tournament series in the guise of the Mayhem Championships with its inaugural event in Coventry, once again with 15 players in each team.
The Mayhem events were set to become Europe’s premier tournament series and to play host to all the top UK teams, the top Euro teams and inevitably, some of the top Yank teams.
Along with BC and Bart’s, my team, the Nam Wreckin’ Crew were also in attendance.
My brother and myself had started the team in 1987 along with a few guys who were playing at the site we used to go to.
After I had my first ever rec game in 87, all the guys from my boxing club wanted to try it out because I couldn’t stop talking about it – and so, my second game of paintball was, shall we say, a bit ‘controversial’.
All the people there were split into teams and the site owners made the mistake of putting all us guys in the same team, on reflection it would have been wiser to split us up.
We lost the games of paintball that’s for sure … but ….. well, you know what’s coming I’m sure. We might have lost the game of paintball but we did win the fight – to be more precise, we won with 2 TKOs … a few of the other side ran off to catch some butterflies and my boxing friends were asked never to darken that site’s doors again … I of course wormed my way back in to the site claiming I was misunderstood.
It’s a claim I have made on many occasions, all with an equal lack of sincerity.
NWC, the name of our team, stood for Nam Wreckin’ Crew which of course was somewhat inappropriate but this wasn’t down to me or my brother.
A guy on our team called Phil Murphy came up with the name but seeing as he was in prison more times than out, he didn’t get to play that much under the team’s name.
He was nicknamed ‘Wormwood’ for obvious reasons - if you met him, you’d never guess he did so much time banged up but maybe the tanned vertical stripes on his face gave the game away.
At that first Mayhem event in 89, our team [NWC] eventually got banned by Steve Baldwin which was a harbinger of things to come for the team.
We actually came to an amicable arrangement on the day of the finals whereby we kept our place in the final standings [3rd] and Steve kept his front teeth - we’ve been friends ever since.
Baldrick now part owns the Millennium tournament circuit along with a French guy called Laurent Hamet - Laurent was to become one of our sport’s greatest visionaries and so more of him later.
Steve now owns Manic Paintball and GiMilsim, he’s also the UK main distributor for Procaps and he sometimes invites poor people to his mansion just to count his cash before he squirrels it away in one of his many hidden vaults.
To be fair, Steve has worked frikkin hard in this sport and we [UK] owe a debt of thanks to him because without Baldrick there would have been no Mayhem events or indeed a Millennium circuit: when Steve and Laurent were thinking about starting the Millennium, they wanted me to go in with them but I declined which was a big mistake with hindsight but maybe better for Steve and Laurent that way .. people moan about the Millennium, and maybe there’s a bit of substance to some of the concerns but I know this much – better the devil you know and Steve Baldwin has done more for UK ball than most – he’s made a fuhkin good living from it I know but who can hold that against him?
I don’t - I just wish he paid his fuhkin invoices a bit quicker.
The three teams of Barts, BC and NWC who attended that first Mayhem Event went onto become bitter rivals indeed and there was really no love lost for any of us.
By the time Steve Baldwin had got his ass in gear and organised that first Mayhem championship in Coventry in 89, those three teams had cemented themselves into the top 3 teams in the UK [and indeed Europe] around that time – during 1988-89, the number of teams had grown to about 25 which doesn’t sound too many but remember here, tourney events were less than a year old.
The three teams mentioned filled the first three spots in that first Mayhem event such that Bart’s grabbed first place, BC second and we [NWC] were quite unfairly, placed third.
During that time of 89 through to the early 90s was a golden period for the transition of week-end rec-ballers moving sideways into tournament paintball; I have my theories as to why this proved such a healthy recruitment phase for tournament players but a lot of people made a lot of money servicing that market that had these players signing onto local teams or indeed, starting their own team.
My brother and I opened our own paintball retail shop in Dartford, unsurprisingly called NWC Paintball in 1990 but we never made any money coz we used to spend all the profits playing every week.
As the vast majority of you will know, once this game gets into your blood, you’re fukk’d .. leastwise your wallet is … if you look at the transition numbers we have now i.e. those players coming into paintball from week-end rec-balling, then it’s about one tenth of what it was back then.
At one time in the early nineties, we had over 20 pro teams.
Jeeezalu, we’ve only got 2 or 3 now, things have changed it seems.
Lord knows how many amateur and novice sides there were back then but estimates ranged from about 200 to 250 in the early 90s, maybe more ..
As far as the rest of Europe were concerned?
The UK were the guv’ners, we metaphorically kicked the crap out of all of the Euro teams back then [leastwise the Preds did] and this halcyon period for UK ball lasted for a good few years … This though, has to be given the correct perspective because we might have been the kings of Europe but the Yanks were another story.
Steve Baldwin’s success with the 89 Mayhem event in Coventry had crystallised into the UK’s paintball calendar such that, in 1990, he shifted the event to a much improved site in Finmere, Bucks.
I had to give Steve Baldwin an assurance that there would be no trouble from our team and of course, I gave that assurance willingly …….hmmmm …… I forgot to tell the rest of the team though, oops!!
The teams predicted to win that 1990 Mayhem event were the usual suspects at the time, Barts, BC and NWC … but by that time, my personal nemesis had hit Paintball-town with his team, the Predators – they came from literally, nowhere.
Actually, they came from about 10 miles away from where I lived just outside of SE London but they hadn’t shown any leaning toward being any good … little did we know what Marcus Davis their captain and inspiration had in store for us all.
And not just us, the rest of the world too… including the Yanks, though we weren’t to find out until a year or so had passed when the Preds went west looking Stateside for fame and fortune.
Marcus Davis was well and truly in town, and the man took no prisoners .. his team smashed their way into prominence by winning the Mayhem Championships in that second event and announcing to the whole of Europe, they had arrived …. We wondered how they would get on against the Yanks but I will leave that for later because it’s a sorry chapter indeed and highlights the darker side of nationalistic paintball that proliferated back then.
Prior to that, we had heard of the Predators and I think we had played against them and beat them before that Mayhem event but there was nothing to indicate what was coming.
A paintball dynasty was about to unfold ……
The Preds obliterated everyone at that event, we actually drew against them in our game of those finals but even then, there was something about that team that hinted at greatness.
That ‘something’ was undoubtedly Marcus Davis.
Marcus was a guy, that when you met him, you never forgot; we had far too many similarities that bothered me, he came from the same part of south east London area as myself, and he also boxed as an amateur like me, although by then, we had both given up boxing preferring to compete in the woodland as against in the ring.
Leastwise in the woods, I could run away but in the ring, there ain’t no hiding place.
Marcus was never academically trained but he was smart, real smart. He could look at something and work out what to do, how to do it best and then to win.
He did it as a boxer and as a paintballer ... I once went fly-fishing with him and he was pulling them out like no tomorrow, I'm sure he musta bribed those fukkin fish to impale themselves on his hook but either way, he was frighteningly astute at whatever he did .. I started to hate him even more ... that's not exactly true, I think I began to fear him even more in terms of paintball ... I just couldn't see anyone beating his team.
I eventually gave up boxing because I wanted to maintain my devilishly good looks but Marcus couldn’t claim he gave up for the same reason …he’d scare the bejeeepers out of rabid pitbulls just by looking at them.
Back then, the Preds v NWC was a bitter rivalry that became the breeding ground from the sublime to the ridiculous – as a player, I focussed entirely on him and his team, all other UK teams were [in my head] bit part players to the grander drama that unfolded around NWC and the Preds …
It was a somewhat blinkered approach I know but for some reason, I couldn’t take my eye off him for one paintball second, I think I knew back then, this guy was gonna cause problems for me .. and he did, big dollops of problems.
The Preds, for all their dominance were unable [for about 10 years I think] to actually return our flag for the win, they either drew against us or won on points / flags in transits … and Marcus hated that fact. They were still winning everything but unable to consummate their dominance over all the UK teams.
That was all I had against the Preds, a trivial detail that meant nothing to anyone but I didn't have anything else.
I’ll declare, they were a much better team than us back then and I couldn’t attack in the way I would like and so I set the team up ‘not to lose’ which was somewhat negative but it was the only way I could have a chance of not being beaten by them.
We were fast becoming a stone in each other’s shoe … something was bound to happen .. and it inevitably did … more of that sorry episode later.
I wasn’t even sure if I was ever gonna write about this particular incident but I will … later ... I don't think I'm gonna come out of this revelation looking too good but hey, we all make mistakes.
Now, I don’t mean to disrespect any other UK teams from that time because I've intimated and emphasised the NWC / Pred struggle took over my focus..
We had some really good teams coming through the ranks such as The Short Timers from Southend way, they were run by a guy called Paul Braybrook whose only regret in life was that he wasn’t born a Yank, served in Vietnam and had a wife called Ying Tong – he seemed to be obsessed by all things war-like [and still is] which came in handy playing paintball at that time but he was one of the game’s nice guys albeit a little weird round the edges, but that’s fine by me.
On one sunny day, I was sitting at home minding my own business and the phone rang, little did I know what was about to be requested. I mistakenly picked the damn receiver up and said, ‘hi’ .. that was my first mistake in picking the fuhking phone up.
Paul Braybrook was on the other end of the phone and asked could I help him, I liked Paul and so I said ‘yes’ without waiting to hear the nature of his problem .. now ya see, that was my second mistake, I should have waited !!
He informed me that two gorillas masquerading as debt collectors were in his paintball store in Southend, Essex, one of them was brandishing a knife and demanding money.
For some inexplicable reason, he didn’t call the police like most normal people would but he decided to call me … oh fuhkin great, I needed that like a 1.5 kg haemorrhoid hanging out my ass.
Oh my, two gorillas and a knife, not exactly the best ingredients for enjoying the day.
The thing was, I lived about an hour away from his paintball store, and so any help I could have given him was probably gonna be too late – not that I really relished fronting the two apes but Paul was desperate.
I quickly realised that any solution to Paul’s problem was not gonna involve me driving over there; I thought this was curious because how the fuhk did he find the opportunity to call me … I mean, two thugs come in and threaten him with a knife and then Paul says, ‘hold on a minute Mr Kong, go eat a couple of bananas while I just call my mate Pete to ask him for help’ … really?? …. But he did !!
It seemed as though Paul and his partner had run up a debt with someone who was deeply involved in UK Paintball at the time – let’s just say he wasn’t your normal business executive type … far be it from me to come across as racist or anything [he was white not black by the way] but his house once suffered a puncture – if you can work out what I’m hinting at, you’ll understand my reticence.
I might be able to holds my hands up in a fight but I ain’t stupid …
Well, Mr Triple XXX, as we shall call him now had an unusual way of ensuring he got his money, it was a direct approach but also unsurprisingly profound – basically, his terms were, ‘pay me what you owe me and you won’t have to drink your next meal through a straw’ .. and he meant it, and not only did he mean it, he would have followed up that threat, or shall we call it ‘agreement’.
Now, poor Paul, who was in La La Land and Vietnam’d up to his eyeballs wasn’t used to this type of violence where it came knocking on the door, Paul was by no means a fighting man – and to make matters worse, he was rapidly filling his underpants like it was coming out of a sausage machine.
I instantly regretted giving him my telephone number .. it was a mistake that I’ve made many times since.
In the end, I made a phone call and Paul emerged from this whole episode managing to hang onto his testicles but he was unable to salvage his dignity due to copious dollops of poop setting up shop in his underpants.
I am not suggesting my phone call implied violence of any kind directed toward Mr Triple XXX, mainly because I agree with the principle of paying back your debts but maybe the method was a little inappropriate, leastwise it was for Paul’s faecal management system.
I got on fine with Mr Triple XXX and we respected each other and this is why he called off the gorillas and certainly not for any other reason.
I think Paul eventually found the money from somewhere but it’s a peculiar thing, he finally found the money after meeting King and Kong …. I wonder if there was a link :/
The early 90s was dominated by the Preds, so much so, they were methodically winning every event they went to, I was getting bored keep coming in second but try as I might, we couldn’t beat them … it came as no surprise to hear that Marcus was taking the team over to Nashville in 1991 to try his hand over in the land of the free and the brave.
We [NWC] went there the year before in 90 but didn’t do too well, I think we were a bit overawed by it all but then again, it might have been because we were crap compared to the Yanks .. yeah, it was probably the latter.
Anyways, Marcus was determined and one of the integral parts to the Nashville event was the five man … against all expectations, The Preds won the 5 man, I fuhkin hated that, I should have been pleased and proud that a UK team had achieved what seemed impossible but try as I might, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Marcus beat all the top Yank teams at their own game.. even the refs .. more of how the Preds were treated later in the tournament of all tournaments, Jerry Braun's world Cup.
I of course respected what the Predators did, after all, they won on merit but I couldn’t share the rest of the UK’s adulation.
I was to stew in my own juices for a few years to come.
Next chapter includes a psychopath issuing death threats provoking an unbelievable response from some industry people .... seems like fiction?
Yeah, but it's true ... Chapter 3 is coming soon ....
Just like in many sports that are newly created, there always seems to emerge a company, or individuals who bubble to the top of the pile, and this in mind, a guy called Steve Baldwin and his then partner Paul Wilson created a company called Mayhem Paintball - these guys, especially Steve went on to become a profound influence on the development of UK paintball.
Paintball in those first years was tied up in terms of buying paint, as a player, you couldn’t buy it like we do now, there were no real retail paint business back then in 88-89 and so players had to pay inflated prices if you wanted your next fix .. and of course, people were more than willing to pay - you have to remember, this was the Thatcherite 80s and money was swirling around in a lot people’s pockets.
The events you went to back then had mandatory use of the promoter’s paint. You couldn’t use paint other than what was on offer from the event – this obviously proved a tad beneficial for the promoters but I suppose it allowed them to claw back some of their investment, trouble was, it went on for far too long.
Eventually, players got pissed off and the price was forced down.
Steve and Paul had opened a paintball site down south and both these guys had an acute sense of potential which corralled their business thinking to consider holding a tournament.
The Mayhem Paintball Events : A tournament dynasty unfolds ….
In 1989, they held what I would now describe as the first ‘professionally run’ tournament series in the guise of the Mayhem Championships with its inaugural event in Coventry, once again with 15 players in each team.
The Mayhem events were set to become Europe’s premier tournament series and to play host to all the top UK teams, the top Euro teams and inevitably, some of the top Yank teams.
Along with BC and Bart’s, my team, the Nam Wreckin’ Crew were also in attendance.
My brother and myself had started the team in 1987 along with a few guys who were playing at the site we used to go to.
After I had my first ever rec game in 87, all the guys from my boxing club wanted to try it out because I couldn’t stop talking about it – and so, my second game of paintball was, shall we say, a bit ‘controversial’.
All the people there were split into teams and the site owners made the mistake of putting all us guys in the same team, on reflection it would have been wiser to split us up.
We lost the games of paintball that’s for sure … but ….. well, you know what’s coming I’m sure. We might have lost the game of paintball but we did win the fight – to be more precise, we won with 2 TKOs … a few of the other side ran off to catch some butterflies and my boxing friends were asked never to darken that site’s doors again … I of course wormed my way back in to the site claiming I was misunderstood.
It’s a claim I have made on many occasions, all with an equal lack of sincerity.
NWC, the name of our team, stood for Nam Wreckin’ Crew which of course was somewhat inappropriate but this wasn’t down to me or my brother.
A guy on our team called Phil Murphy came up with the name but seeing as he was in prison more times than out, he didn’t get to play that much under the team’s name.
He was nicknamed ‘Wormwood’ for obvious reasons - if you met him, you’d never guess he did so much time banged up but maybe the tanned vertical stripes on his face gave the game away.
At that first Mayhem event in 89, our team [NWC] eventually got banned by Steve Baldwin which was a harbinger of things to come for the team.
We actually came to an amicable arrangement on the day of the finals whereby we kept our place in the final standings [3rd] and Steve kept his front teeth - we’ve been friends ever since.
Baldrick now part owns the Millennium tournament circuit along with a French guy called Laurent Hamet - Laurent was to become one of our sport’s greatest visionaries and so more of him later.
Steve now owns Manic Paintball and GiMilsim, he’s also the UK main distributor for Procaps and he sometimes invites poor people to his mansion just to count his cash before he squirrels it away in one of his many hidden vaults.
To be fair, Steve has worked frikkin hard in this sport and we [UK] owe a debt of thanks to him because without Baldrick there would have been no Mayhem events or indeed a Millennium circuit: when Steve and Laurent were thinking about starting the Millennium, they wanted me to go in with them but I declined which was a big mistake with hindsight but maybe better for Steve and Laurent that way .. people moan about the Millennium, and maybe there’s a bit of substance to some of the concerns but I know this much – better the devil you know and Steve Baldwin has done more for UK ball than most – he’s made a fuhkin good living from it I know but who can hold that against him?
I don’t - I just wish he paid his fuhkin invoices a bit quicker.
The three teams of Barts, BC and NWC who attended that first Mayhem Event went onto become bitter rivals indeed and there was really no love lost for any of us.
By the time Steve Baldwin had got his ass in gear and organised that first Mayhem championship in Coventry in 89, those three teams had cemented themselves into the top 3 teams in the UK [and indeed Europe] around that time – during 1988-89, the number of teams had grown to about 25 which doesn’t sound too many but remember here, tourney events were less than a year old.
The three teams mentioned filled the first three spots in that first Mayhem event such that Bart’s grabbed first place, BC second and we [NWC] were quite unfairly, placed third.
During that time of 89 through to the early 90s was a golden period for the transition of week-end rec-ballers moving sideways into tournament paintball; I have my theories as to why this proved such a healthy recruitment phase for tournament players but a lot of people made a lot of money servicing that market that had these players signing onto local teams or indeed, starting their own team.
My brother and I opened our own paintball retail shop in Dartford, unsurprisingly called NWC Paintball in 1990 but we never made any money coz we used to spend all the profits playing every week.
As the vast majority of you will know, once this game gets into your blood, you’re fukk’d .. leastwise your wallet is … if you look at the transition numbers we have now i.e. those players coming into paintball from week-end rec-balling, then it’s about one tenth of what it was back then.
At one time in the early nineties, we had over 20 pro teams.
Jeeezalu, we’ve only got 2 or 3 now, things have changed it seems.
Lord knows how many amateur and novice sides there were back then but estimates ranged from about 200 to 250 in the early 90s, maybe more ..
As far as the rest of Europe were concerned?
The UK were the guv’ners, we metaphorically kicked the crap out of all of the Euro teams back then [leastwise the Preds did] and this halcyon period for UK ball lasted for a good few years … This though, has to be given the correct perspective because we might have been the kings of Europe but the Yanks were another story.
Steve Baldwin’s success with the 89 Mayhem event in Coventry had crystallised into the UK’s paintball calendar such that, in 1990, he shifted the event to a much improved site in Finmere, Bucks.
I had to give Steve Baldwin an assurance that there would be no trouble from our team and of course, I gave that assurance willingly …….hmmmm …… I forgot to tell the rest of the team though, oops!!
The teams predicted to win that 1990 Mayhem event were the usual suspects at the time, Barts, BC and NWC … but by that time, my personal nemesis had hit Paintball-town with his team, the Predators – they came from literally, nowhere.
Actually, they came from about 10 miles away from where I lived just outside of SE London but they hadn’t shown any leaning toward being any good … little did we know what Marcus Davis their captain and inspiration had in store for us all.
And not just us, the rest of the world too… including the Yanks, though we weren’t to find out until a year or so had passed when the Preds went west looking Stateside for fame and fortune.
Marcus Davis was well and truly in town, and the man took no prisoners .. his team smashed their way into prominence by winning the Mayhem Championships in that second event and announcing to the whole of Europe, they had arrived …. We wondered how they would get on against the Yanks but I will leave that for later because it’s a sorry chapter indeed and highlights the darker side of nationalistic paintball that proliferated back then.
Prior to that, we had heard of the Predators and I think we had played against them and beat them before that Mayhem event but there was nothing to indicate what was coming.
A paintball dynasty was about to unfold ……
The Preds obliterated everyone at that event, we actually drew against them in our game of those finals but even then, there was something about that team that hinted at greatness.
That ‘something’ was undoubtedly Marcus Davis.
Marcus was a guy, that when you met him, you never forgot; we had far too many similarities that bothered me, he came from the same part of south east London area as myself, and he also boxed as an amateur like me, although by then, we had both given up boxing preferring to compete in the woodland as against in the ring.
Leastwise in the woods, I could run away but in the ring, there ain’t no hiding place.
Marcus was never academically trained but he was smart, real smart. He could look at something and work out what to do, how to do it best and then to win.
He did it as a boxer and as a paintballer ... I once went fly-fishing with him and he was pulling them out like no tomorrow, I'm sure he musta bribed those fukkin fish to impale themselves on his hook but either way, he was frighteningly astute at whatever he did .. I started to hate him even more ... that's not exactly true, I think I began to fear him even more in terms of paintball ... I just couldn't see anyone beating his team.
I eventually gave up boxing because I wanted to maintain my devilishly good looks but Marcus couldn’t claim he gave up for the same reason …he’d scare the bejeeepers out of rabid pitbulls just by looking at them.
Back then, the Preds v NWC was a bitter rivalry that became the breeding ground from the sublime to the ridiculous – as a player, I focussed entirely on him and his team, all other UK teams were [in my head] bit part players to the grander drama that unfolded around NWC and the Preds …
It was a somewhat blinkered approach I know but for some reason, I couldn’t take my eye off him for one paintball second, I think I knew back then, this guy was gonna cause problems for me .. and he did, big dollops of problems.
The Preds, for all their dominance were unable [for about 10 years I think] to actually return our flag for the win, they either drew against us or won on points / flags in transits … and Marcus hated that fact. They were still winning everything but unable to consummate their dominance over all the UK teams.
That was all I had against the Preds, a trivial detail that meant nothing to anyone but I didn't have anything else.
I’ll declare, they were a much better team than us back then and I couldn’t attack in the way I would like and so I set the team up ‘not to lose’ which was somewhat negative but it was the only way I could have a chance of not being beaten by them.
We were fast becoming a stone in each other’s shoe … something was bound to happen .. and it inevitably did … more of that sorry episode later.
I wasn’t even sure if I was ever gonna write about this particular incident but I will … later ... I don't think I'm gonna come out of this revelation looking too good but hey, we all make mistakes.
Now, I don’t mean to disrespect any other UK teams from that time because I've intimated and emphasised the NWC / Pred struggle took over my focus..
We had some really good teams coming through the ranks such as The Short Timers from Southend way, they were run by a guy called Paul Braybrook whose only regret in life was that he wasn’t born a Yank, served in Vietnam and had a wife called Ying Tong – he seemed to be obsessed by all things war-like [and still is] which came in handy playing paintball at that time but he was one of the game’s nice guys albeit a little weird round the edges, but that’s fine by me.
On one sunny day, I was sitting at home minding my own business and the phone rang, little did I know what was about to be requested. I mistakenly picked the damn receiver up and said, ‘hi’ .. that was my first mistake in picking the fuhking phone up.
Paul Braybrook was on the other end of the phone and asked could I help him, I liked Paul and so I said ‘yes’ without waiting to hear the nature of his problem .. now ya see, that was my second mistake, I should have waited !!
He informed me that two gorillas masquerading as debt collectors were in his paintball store in Southend, Essex, one of them was brandishing a knife and demanding money.
For some inexplicable reason, he didn’t call the police like most normal people would but he decided to call me … oh fuhkin great, I needed that like a 1.5 kg haemorrhoid hanging out my ass.
Oh my, two gorillas and a knife, not exactly the best ingredients for enjoying the day.
The thing was, I lived about an hour away from his paintball store, and so any help I could have given him was probably gonna be too late – not that I really relished fronting the two apes but Paul was desperate.
I quickly realised that any solution to Paul’s problem was not gonna involve me driving over there; I thought this was curious because how the fuhk did he find the opportunity to call me … I mean, two thugs come in and threaten him with a knife and then Paul says, ‘hold on a minute Mr Kong, go eat a couple of bananas while I just call my mate Pete to ask him for help’ … really?? …. But he did !!
It seemed as though Paul and his partner had run up a debt with someone who was deeply involved in UK Paintball at the time – let’s just say he wasn’t your normal business executive type … far be it from me to come across as racist or anything [he was white not black by the way] but his house once suffered a puncture – if you can work out what I’m hinting at, you’ll understand my reticence.
I might be able to holds my hands up in a fight but I ain’t stupid …
Well, Mr Triple XXX, as we shall call him now had an unusual way of ensuring he got his money, it was a direct approach but also unsurprisingly profound – basically, his terms were, ‘pay me what you owe me and you won’t have to drink your next meal through a straw’ .. and he meant it, and not only did he mean it, he would have followed up that threat, or shall we call it ‘agreement’.
Now, poor Paul, who was in La La Land and Vietnam’d up to his eyeballs wasn’t used to this type of violence where it came knocking on the door, Paul was by no means a fighting man – and to make matters worse, he was rapidly filling his underpants like it was coming out of a sausage machine.
I instantly regretted giving him my telephone number .. it was a mistake that I’ve made many times since.
In the end, I made a phone call and Paul emerged from this whole episode managing to hang onto his testicles but he was unable to salvage his dignity due to copious dollops of poop setting up shop in his underpants.
I am not suggesting my phone call implied violence of any kind directed toward Mr Triple XXX, mainly because I agree with the principle of paying back your debts but maybe the method was a little inappropriate, leastwise it was for Paul’s faecal management system.
I got on fine with Mr Triple XXX and we respected each other and this is why he called off the gorillas and certainly not for any other reason.
I think Paul eventually found the money from somewhere but it’s a peculiar thing, he finally found the money after meeting King and Kong …. I wonder if there was a link :/
The early 90s was dominated by the Preds, so much so, they were methodically winning every event they went to, I was getting bored keep coming in second but try as I might, we couldn’t beat them … it came as no surprise to hear that Marcus was taking the team over to Nashville in 1991 to try his hand over in the land of the free and the brave.
We [NWC] went there the year before in 90 but didn’t do too well, I think we were a bit overawed by it all but then again, it might have been because we were crap compared to the Yanks .. yeah, it was probably the latter.
Anyways, Marcus was determined and one of the integral parts to the Nashville event was the five man … against all expectations, The Preds won the 5 man, I fuhkin hated that, I should have been pleased and proud that a UK team had achieved what seemed impossible but try as I might, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Marcus beat all the top Yank teams at their own game.. even the refs .. more of how the Preds were treated later in the tournament of all tournaments, Jerry Braun's world Cup.
I of course respected what the Predators did, after all, they won on merit but I couldn’t share the rest of the UK’s adulation.
I was to stew in my own juices for a few years to come.
Next chapter includes a psychopath issuing death threats provoking an unbelievable response from some industry people .... seems like fiction?
Yeah, but it's true ... Chapter 3 is coming soon ....
