Far be it from me to advocate our members committing violence of any kind, well, apart from asking, nay pleading with you guys to kick the living cr@p out of jeremy kyle and/or gordon ramsey should any of you guys ever cross paths with them but a curious situation has arisen this last weekend that has me reaching for my biology books.
The title of this post is somewhat misleading but I shall explain its relevance ... the numbers 'zero' and 'two' refer to testicles ..yep, that's right, testicles .. us menfolk got two of them, or rather should do; our fairer sex is hopefully deprived of them ...but, I think we may have a pretender in our male midsts who promises to make us all look like limp-wristed fairies on our way to San Fransisco ...
I refer of course to MsHell .. not the biggest of females, far from it in fact, a mere wisp of a woman but seemingly possessing more testicles than all us keyboard heroes.
When the whole breakwell thingy went down a few months ago; the thread was filled to the brim with players' indignations of horror and disgust at a fellow baller stealing, bullying and generally being a complete ass .. and rightly so, mr breakwell defied all rationale when he tried to wriggle free from the p8ntballer spotlight but all to no avail as he was tried and sentenced and banned from our midsts.. that was until last weekend.
Now, a lot of the posts I just mentioned that populated the breakwell thread talked of abject disgust at what he had done and the consequent physical demonstration of people's displeasure should he ever turn up on a site again, basically a lot of people said they would 'give him a a little slap' .. well, due to a few unforeseeable events, he managed to worm his way back in to our midst but this obviously didn't go unnoticed .. not by a long way ..within a few minutes of him being seen on site, I received my first text alerting me to his presence ... now, I did think, 'fackin ell, breakwell's got some nuts turning up for this latest event bearing in mind sooo many people had said they were gonna 'put it on him' ....
I know our average baller ain't a violent man but this guy breakwell had pushed the envelope sooo far and enraged soo many ballers that I genuinely feared for breakwell on hearing he'd turned up at the CPPS.
I shouldn't have worried .... the only person who kept their word as to what they'd do was Michelle [MsHell] .. she had been sooo outraged at breakwell stealing a a gat from Joe Bollard and then going onto boast about it on face-book that she always promised, should she ever see him again on a paintball site, she would then introduce him to a little slap..well she high-fived him alright ..... thwaaaackkkk!!!!!!
Michelle told me she was a bit miffed that she was the only one in keeping her word because soo many of our ballers had said they were gonna do this, that and whatever should breakwell ever turn up ...
She felt it ironic that when breakwell was acting out his hard man image with the use of his keyboard, a lot of people remarked upon the fact anyone could pretend to be a hard man on the internet and if it ever came to it, could breakwell produce the goods?
Of course he couldn't as Michelle has proven so adequately.
And so, where were all us men when breakwell turned up?
Did we all go on the missing list?
Did we get an involuntary dollop of morality plopped into out laps ?
We might have even pondered the illegality of repositioning his nose and decided not to for fear of prosecution ..
Whatever the reasons, it now seems as though we have a new paintball super-hero within our midst, our very own righter of wrongs ... Michelle ... MsHell ... pis$ her off at your peril guys coz she's gonna give you a slap if you do ....
The title of this post is somewhat misleading but I shall explain its relevance ... the numbers 'zero' and 'two' refer to testicles ..yep, that's right, testicles .. us menfolk got two of them, or rather should do; our fairer sex is hopefully deprived of them ...but, I think we may have a pretender in our male midsts who promises to make us all look like limp-wristed fairies on our way to San Fransisco ...
I refer of course to MsHell .. not the biggest of females, far from it in fact, a mere wisp of a woman but seemingly possessing more testicles than all us keyboard heroes.
When the whole breakwell thingy went down a few months ago; the thread was filled to the brim with players' indignations of horror and disgust at a fellow baller stealing, bullying and generally being a complete ass .. and rightly so, mr breakwell defied all rationale when he tried to wriggle free from the p8ntballer spotlight but all to no avail as he was tried and sentenced and banned from our midsts.. that was until last weekend.
Now, a lot of the posts I just mentioned that populated the breakwell thread talked of abject disgust at what he had done and the consequent physical demonstration of people's displeasure should he ever turn up on a site again, basically a lot of people said they would 'give him a a little slap' .. well, due to a few unforeseeable events, he managed to worm his way back in to our midst but this obviously didn't go unnoticed .. not by a long way ..within a few minutes of him being seen on site, I received my first text alerting me to his presence ... now, I did think, 'fackin ell, breakwell's got some nuts turning up for this latest event bearing in mind sooo many people had said they were gonna 'put it on him' ....
I know our average baller ain't a violent man but this guy breakwell had pushed the envelope sooo far and enraged soo many ballers that I genuinely feared for breakwell on hearing he'd turned up at the CPPS.
I shouldn't have worried .... the only person who kept their word as to what they'd do was Michelle [MsHell] .. she had been sooo outraged at breakwell stealing a a gat from Joe Bollard and then going onto boast about it on face-book that she always promised, should she ever see him again on a paintball site, she would then introduce him to a little slap..well she high-fived him alright ..... thwaaaackkkk!!!!!!
Michelle told me she was a bit miffed that she was the only one in keeping her word because soo many of our ballers had said they were gonna do this, that and whatever should breakwell ever turn up ...
She felt it ironic that when breakwell was acting out his hard man image with the use of his keyboard, a lot of people remarked upon the fact anyone could pretend to be a hard man on the internet and if it ever came to it, could breakwell produce the goods?
Of course he couldn't as Michelle has proven so adequately.
And so, where were all us men when breakwell turned up?
Did we all go on the missing list?
Did we get an involuntary dollop of morality plopped into out laps ?
We might have even pondered the illegality of repositioning his nose and decided not to for fear of prosecution ..
Whatever the reasons, it now seems as though we have a new paintball super-hero within our midst, our very own righter of wrongs ... Michelle ... MsHell ... pis$ her off at your peril guys coz she's gonna give you a slap if you do ....
